Hum and Chuck: Awesome Scotts

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Awesome Scotts

There was a theme in last night's game. If your name was Scott, you were awesome. Scott Richmond allowed two hits over 7 innings and retired 14 Reds in a row. And Scott Rolen...

Scott, let's have babies. They will be tall (you are 6'4", I am 5'10"), have my curly hair and they will make magical leaping line drive picking catches that save runs in the 8th. This guy can be godfather and we can feed them Mammoth Burgers and Fossil Fries so they grow mighty and strong. And they will be especially awesome because we will raise them in Philadelphia and boo them everyday.

"For a bird that is flashy, loud, aggressive and conspicuous during most of the year, blue jays become remarkably quiet and inconspicuous while actually nesting." Good to know.

'What's wrong with Vernon Wells?" -Dusty Baker

"The fans were calling me by my new nickname -- Boo,"-Boo Wells.

Bronson Arroyo's Rogers Centre ERA is 49.50.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...: After seeing the title "Awesome Scotts," I was struck how awesome "Great Scotts" would have been.; June 25, 2009 2:32 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi Joanna!
You are not alone! Scot Rolen was (still is and always will be!) my baseball boyfriend! I have been wishing, hoping, and wanting to have babies by him, from him, and with him, since his Phillies' days! The day he got traded to the Cards was one of the saddest days in my young life. I thought I would not be able to see him play again because I live in a different time zone. But with the help of television and the internet I was still able to follow him. Isn't he just awesome? He is good offensively and defensively. He is a consumate all-around player who plays the game right. And for all the "game-face" he always carries in the field at game time(you know the one that is unsmiling and so focused), he has such a great sense of humour! (Remember his "first taste of Canada" and first Blue Jays interview? I bookmarked that video and when I wanted a laugh I would play it.) I also like that he also has time to help the less fortunates through his foundation. He really is very admirable! And you guys are lucky he now plays with the Blue Jays. He makes baseball fun and exciting to watch. I am so jealous you are able to see him play at a closer basis and vicinity than I do. Good luck on your "quest for little Scotties! Hope you curly hair succeeds where my straight hair seems destined to fail!

Go Blue Jays go! And for Scott the Rck, good luck on your forthcoming games. May it take you to the World Series and give you the ring!; June 25, 2009 4:04 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm fine with you having kids with Rolen but I think they should be raised in Toronto as Jays fans.; June 26, 2009 2:57 PM
Joanna said...: They will be Jays fans, but their father responded to well to being booed in Philly.; June 26, 2009 4:06 PM
Anonymous said...: but still, seeing as you've taken your fantasy into a public domain I've gotta insist your raise your children of Scott Rolen in Toronto. I understand your logic but your kids would then be the enemy-indirectly. And that's no way to raise children if if they are imaginary...; June 27, 2009 2:12 PM
Anonymous said...: even if, not if if; June 27, 2009 2:13 PM
Joanna said...: fair enough. point taken.; June 29, 2009 8:16 AM

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A Glossary of Terms

"God-damnit!"- What VDub says when he pops up, the exclamation caught crisply and clearly by the sportsnet mic near the field. One of the sounds of summer
A-Dog- sometimes, when Aaron Hill is particulary slick or awesome in the field, he is called A-Dog, in reference to O-Dog.
Acorn- BJ Ryan calls Accardo 'Acorn'. Why? I don't know. But if BJ calls him that, so do I.
Big Boy Pants- When a player, particularly a pitcher, doesn't let a bad call or walks or stupid plays effect him, but instead acts like an adult and rises above them towards awesomeness.
disgusted- how AJ Burnett looks when he is pitching, probably due to his filthiness
Eeyore- Ted Lilly often seemed sad. Was soft-spoken and had sad eyes. Much like Pooh Bear's donkey friend.
Ex-Jays in the playoffs- a fun game to play at home to drowned out Tim McCarver's ramblings. Try to pick out all the Ex-Jays who are playing in the playoffs, make a team out of them and decide whether the Ex-Jay team could beat the Current Jays team. Note that the number of Ex-Jays in the playoffs always outnumbers the current Jays in the playoffs.
Gloved-F-Bomb- When a pitcher will yell obsceneties into their glove after giving up a homerun or even just a stressful inning. An alternative is the elbow f-bomb, in which the pitcher will swear into their arm.
Hatchling- a baby Jay.
Intentional walk followed by unintentional walk- an example of total futility and uselessness. One of my dad's fav humiliation plays
J-Effin' Mac- John McDonald is so unassuming and workman-like in his awesomeness, sometimes it is necessary to add an expletive to emphasize his awesomeness
Lexi- Alex Rios
Lil' Scottie Downs- for some reason, my father calls Scott Downs this.
Motivational F-Bomb- If you watch closely, after a pitching coach or catcher has gone to talk to a pitcher,sometimes the pitcher will pump himself up by saying "fuck" to no one in particular
Peaches- Dustin McGowan's mutton chops are kind of fuzzy and he is from Georgia.
Pink, Round, Efficient- How I described Litsch's first big league start. The kid is very pink and very round.
Prance off homerun- What ARod does when he hits a walk-off.
Roy Halladay Fan Club- I wrote a piece once about the man-love that seemed to flow from the staff to their ace. Each pitcher had his own little way of expressing his love, for instance, Chacin stole one of Roy's shirts because it "smelled like victory".
Show Pony- Alex Rodriguez, incorporated into the repetoire from Stephen King's Red Sox book. So called for the ostentatious way he runs (and fields, and hits...)
Smoke salmon pink- Roy Halladay turns pink with rage when he pitches.
Sparrow- Josh Towers because he is slight and excitable.
Talented Bonehead- my dad and I had several conversations about AJ Burnett. His blowups, his inability to use a changeup, why he did the things he did. And I said "Dad, what is his problem?" and my dad sagely said, "Well, he's what one calls a talented bonehead. Million dollar arm, 10 cent head."
The Shit List- where much of the team, other than the pitching staff, has resided in 2007
unneighbourly- Fletcher once described an AJ pitch by saying "Well, that is just downright unneighbourly".

The moment I actually started liking Keith Law.

Jason (Denver): Even though you seem to be a Rockies hater, what do you think about Greg Reynolds?

Keith Law: (2:13 PM ET ) Jason, you must be new here. I hate EVERYBODY. I hate all 30 teams. I hate their GMs, managers, and clubhouse boys. I hate all prospects, I hate both sides of every trade ever made, I hate any contract signed for over the minimum. I hate fans of all thirty teams. And most of all, I hate YOU. Greg Reynolds is a 4th starter in the big leagues, but that's based on what I saw of him as an amateur and I'd like to see him healthy as a pro.