Hum and Chuck: All Star Queries and Observations

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

All Star Queries and Observations

Obama getting booed at Busch Stadium. White Sox jacket, Republicans or big fat racists? Pujols was feeling pretty friendly that night. Anyone else notice him and Carlos Pena almost making out when they were supposed to be greeting the "All Stars Among Us." I was a bit teary over that video montage. Tears interrupted by screams when I saw W. appear on my screen. "I thought we vanquished you!!!!"

This guy not exactly at his sharpest. And for once I was thrilled. He got the honour of starting the game, but looked completely human on a national stage. Completely human...for now, as some might say. Also, Mauer lives the dream of many a Jays fan by copping a feel of cyborg ass.

Carl Crawford violating someone who is not a Blue Jay. Even when the Rays were Devil Rays and it was Crawford and a bag of toys that made that team, he always managed to single handedly take the Jays down. Hill is jacked. And got 3 assists. Michael Young also put on a damn defensive clinic at 3rd base.

AL wins!!! Order restored. Was that not a bit of a boring game? Maybe I needed free hotdogs or something.

Play of game got MVP. Well deserved. But an MVP for one game seems kind of a bit cheap.

1 million? The fuck? 1 million?!?!? We could've done that shit. 1 million!!!!!

7 comments:

eyebleaf said...: $1 million. Holy fuck.; July 15, 2009 10:08 PM
Dan Grant said...: yeah. but Pedro has now been going on and on about his legacy, which I think means, he wants a chance at a World Series. Going to the defending champs is probably his best shot at this (as they dont need him in Boston and I dont think he'd go to the Yankees/he doesnt want the pressure or the role he'd need to play on the Yankees. or the tough divisional opponents) so I imagine he probably gave Philly a bit of a discount.; July 16, 2009 10:35 AM
Callum said...: Lol.; July 16, 2009 11:37 AM
Ian H. said...: Is it $1 million with a chance at $4 million in incentives? Because I thought Pedro was holding out for $5 million or more?; July 16, 2009 11:55 AM
MK Piatkowski said...: Love the photo gallery, esp. Roy and Mauer. I"ll admit that I respected Crawford because he always kills us and it was nice to see him doing damage elsewhere.; July 16, 2009 12:37 PM
Dave said...: Pedro wouldn't have signed with the Jays for $1 million.; July 16, 2009 5:50 PM
Joanna said...: I'm sorry, are you his wife or his brain or his agent?; July 16, 2009 9:40 PM

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A Glossary of Terms

"God-damnit!"- What VDub says when he pops up, the exclamation caught crisply and clearly by the sportsnet mic near the field. One of the sounds of summer
A-Dog- sometimes, when Aaron Hill is particulary slick or awesome in the field, he is called A-Dog, in reference to O-Dog.
Acorn- BJ Ryan calls Accardo 'Acorn'. Why? I don't know. But if BJ calls him that, so do I.
Big Boy Pants- When a player, particularly a pitcher, doesn't let a bad call or walks or stupid plays effect him, but instead acts like an adult and rises above them towards awesomeness.
disgusted- how AJ Burnett looks when he is pitching, probably due to his filthiness
Eeyore- Ted Lilly often seemed sad. Was soft-spoken and had sad eyes. Much like Pooh Bear's donkey friend.
Ex-Jays in the playoffs- a fun game to play at home to drowned out Tim McCarver's ramblings. Try to pick out all the Ex-Jays who are playing in the playoffs, make a team out of them and decide whether the Ex-Jay team could beat the Current Jays team. Note that the number of Ex-Jays in the playoffs always outnumbers the current Jays in the playoffs.
Gloved-F-Bomb- When a pitcher will yell obsceneties into their glove after giving up a homerun or even just a stressful inning. An alternative is the elbow f-bomb, in which the pitcher will swear into their arm.
Hatchling- a baby Jay.
Intentional walk followed by unintentional walk- an example of total futility and uselessness. One of my dad's fav humiliation plays
J-Effin' Mac- John McDonald is so unassuming and workman-like in his awesomeness, sometimes it is necessary to add an expletive to emphasize his awesomeness
Lexi- Alex Rios
Lil' Scottie Downs- for some reason, my father calls Scott Downs this.
Motivational F-Bomb- If you watch closely, after a pitching coach or catcher has gone to talk to a pitcher,sometimes the pitcher will pump himself up by saying "fuck" to no one in particular
Peaches- Dustin McGowan's mutton chops are kind of fuzzy and he is from Georgia.
Pink, Round, Efficient- How I described Litsch's first big league start. The kid is very pink and very round.
Prance off homerun- What ARod does when he hits a walk-off.
Roy Halladay Fan Club- I wrote a piece once about the man-love that seemed to flow from the staff to their ace. Each pitcher had his own little way of expressing his love, for instance, Chacin stole one of Roy's shirts because it "smelled like victory".
Show Pony- Alex Rodriguez, incorporated into the repetoire from Stephen King's Red Sox book. So called for the ostentatious way he runs (and fields, and hits...)
Smoke salmon pink- Roy Halladay turns pink with rage when he pitches.
Sparrow- Josh Towers because he is slight and excitable.
Talented Bonehead- my dad and I had several conversations about AJ Burnett. His blowups, his inability to use a changeup, why he did the things he did. And I said "Dad, what is his problem?" and my dad sagely said, "Well, he's what one calls a talented bonehead. Million dollar arm, 10 cent head."
The Shit List- where much of the team, other than the pitching staff, has resided in 2007
unneighbourly- Fletcher once described an AJ pitch by saying "Well, that is just downright unneighbourly".

The moment I actually started liking Keith Law.

Jason (Denver): Even though you seem to be a Rockies hater, what do you think about Greg Reynolds?

Keith Law: (2:13 PM ET ) Jason, you must be new here. I hate EVERYBODY. I hate all 30 teams. I hate their GMs, managers, and clubhouse boys. I hate all prospects, I hate both sides of every trade ever made, I hate any contract signed for over the minimum. I hate fans of all thirty teams. And most of all, I hate YOU. Greg Reynolds is a 4th starter in the big leagues, but that's based on what I saw of him as an amateur and I'd like to see him healthy as a pro.