Hum and Chuck: All Star

Monday, July 13, 2009

All Star

Look, Doc and some punk who skateboards at the park are starting the All Star Game. KC people are moaning because Greinke wasn't named, but they can shove it. They haven't had to listen to bullshit like "Roy Halladay, a Jay...for now." for the past two weeks.

And Aaron Hill gets to start the All Star game because Dustin Pedroia is skipping due to his wife having a baby. I know, I was shocked too. Someone slept with Dustin Pedroia?

8 comments:

MK Piatkowski said...: Joanna, this post is why I love you.

My boys, Roy and Aaron, starting. I'm in heaven.; July 13, 2009 8:35 PM
Ian H. said...: Lincecum looks like he walked onto the wrong stage and Halladay is trying to tell him that the Fallout Boy autograph signing is down the hallway.; July 13, 2009 11:01 PM
bkblades said...: Though the pants seem a little high, I'm giving this one to our Ace for his fashion style. I'm not sure if that's a beeper clip, but even pitching stud Tim Lincecum himself was looking up to Roy in awe (never mind that Timmy looks up to everyone).; July 13, 2009 11:04 PM
eyebleaf said...: I'm not even going to bother commenting on how fucking foolish Lincecum looked up there.

Mad proud of Doc. Ain't nobody represents Toronto better, no matter how Bob Costas introduces him.; July 14, 2009 12:43 AM
jw said...: I will point out that it's not that Pedroia's wife is having a baby, it's that she's seven months pregnant and having complications. As much as I dislike the guy, I'm certainly going to hope everything turns out alright.

As for Halladay over Grienke, you nailed it.; July 14, 2009 7:41 AM
PixelJunk said...: "I know, I was shocked too. Someone slept with Dustin Pedroia?"

Best line of the week!; July 14, 2009 8:23 AM
Joanna said...: Of course, i hope both Lady Pedroia and little Pedroia are fine.; July 14, 2009 8:47 AM
Dan Grant said...: Tim Lincecum IS Mitch Kramer. I had been thinking that for weeks and Bill Simmons finally confirmed it for me on a podcast yesterday.

Dustin Pedroia covered in gravy. mmm.; July 14, 2009 1:30 PM

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A Glossary of Terms

"God-damnit!"- What VDub says when he pops up, the exclamation caught crisply and clearly by the sportsnet mic near the field. One of the sounds of summer
A-Dog- sometimes, when Aaron Hill is particulary slick or awesome in the field, he is called A-Dog, in reference to O-Dog.
Acorn- BJ Ryan calls Accardo 'Acorn'. Why? I don't know. But if BJ calls him that, so do I.
Big Boy Pants- When a player, particularly a pitcher, doesn't let a bad call or walks or stupid plays effect him, but instead acts like an adult and rises above them towards awesomeness.
disgusted- how AJ Burnett looks when he is pitching, probably due to his filthiness
Eeyore- Ted Lilly often seemed sad. Was soft-spoken and had sad eyes. Much like Pooh Bear's donkey friend.
Ex-Jays in the playoffs- a fun game to play at home to drowned out Tim McCarver's ramblings. Try to pick out all the Ex-Jays who are playing in the playoffs, make a team out of them and decide whether the Ex-Jay team could beat the Current Jays team. Note that the number of Ex-Jays in the playoffs always outnumbers the current Jays in the playoffs.
Gloved-F-Bomb- When a pitcher will yell obsceneties into their glove after giving up a homerun or even just a stressful inning. An alternative is the elbow f-bomb, in which the pitcher will swear into their arm.
Hatchling- a baby Jay.
Intentional walk followed by unintentional walk- an example of total futility and uselessness. One of my dad's fav humiliation plays
J-Effin' Mac- John McDonald is so unassuming and workman-like in his awesomeness, sometimes it is necessary to add an expletive to emphasize his awesomeness
Lexi- Alex Rios
Lil' Scottie Downs- for some reason, my father calls Scott Downs this.
Motivational F-Bomb- If you watch closely, after a pitching coach or catcher has gone to talk to a pitcher,sometimes the pitcher will pump himself up by saying "fuck" to no one in particular
Peaches- Dustin McGowan's mutton chops are kind of fuzzy and he is from Georgia.
Pink, Round, Efficient- How I described Litsch's first big league start. The kid is very pink and very round.
Prance off homerun- What ARod does when he hits a walk-off.
Roy Halladay Fan Club- I wrote a piece once about the man-love that seemed to flow from the staff to their ace. Each pitcher had his own little way of expressing his love, for instance, Chacin stole one of Roy's shirts because it "smelled like victory".
Show Pony- Alex Rodriguez, incorporated into the repetoire from Stephen King's Red Sox book. So called for the ostentatious way he runs (and fields, and hits...)
Smoke salmon pink- Roy Halladay turns pink with rage when he pitches.
Sparrow- Josh Towers because he is slight and excitable.
Talented Bonehead- my dad and I had several conversations about AJ Burnett. His blowups, his inability to use a changeup, why he did the things he did. And I said "Dad, what is his problem?" and my dad sagely said, "Well, he's what one calls a talented bonehead. Million dollar arm, 10 cent head."
The Shit List- where much of the team, other than the pitching staff, has resided in 2007
unneighbourly- Fletcher once described an AJ pitch by saying "Well, that is just downright unneighbourly".

The moment I actually started liking Keith Law.

Jason (Denver): Even though you seem to be a Rockies hater, what do you think about Greg Reynolds?

Keith Law: (2:13 PM ET ) Jason, you must be new here. I hate EVERYBODY. I hate all 30 teams. I hate their GMs, managers, and clubhouse boys. I hate all prospects, I hate both sides of every trade ever made, I hate any contract signed for over the minimum. I hate fans of all thirty teams. And most of all, I hate YOU. Greg Reynolds is a 4th starter in the big leagues, but that's based on what I saw of him as an amateur and I'd like to see him healthy as a pro.