Hum and Chuck: Keep Rebuilding...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Keep Rebuilding...

Until it's time to rebuild.

Imagine there is a girl. She's an awesome girl. And she's been seeing this guy for a long time, let's say, I dunno, 15 years. And she really, really wants to get married, because she loves this guy and she wants a ring. She wants to make it official. And he keeps talking about this damn ring like he's going to give it to her. Promising it to her in the spring and talks about it until July or so and then says "We can't swing it this year, baby. I'll get you that ring next year." He makes annoying decisions and tells her it's for her own good, that there is a plan, but never quite explains why he hasn't gotten her the ring. And this has been going on for a really long time. So, does she stay with this guy, who she loves but is losing patience with or does she leave him and get with someone who gets her the damn ring?

And I'm sorry Yankee morons, just Hughes or just Joba for Doc and Vernon aren't going to cut it. So shut up.

Keith Law for GM, for all the shit he said here (transcribed or more likely cut-and-pasted by Stoeten) and for this classic gem I liked so much, I put it in the margins of my blog:

Jason (Denver): Even though you seem to be a Rockies hater, what do you think about Greg Reynolds? Keith Law: (2:13 PM ET ) Jason, you must be new here. I hate EVERYBODY. I hate all 30 teams. I hate their GMs, managers, and clubhouse boys. I hate all prospects, I hate both sides of every trade ever made, I hate any contract signed for over the minimum. I hate fans of all thirty teams. And most of all, I hate YOU. Greg Reynolds is a 4th starter in the big leagues, but that's based on what I saw of him as an amateur and I'd like to see him healthy as a pro.

9 comments:

Drew - LtB said...: Interesting choice of analogy. One question remains: if they've been together for 15 years, how isn't it official?

Is sliding a ring on her finger going to change their lives in a real, fundamental way? If she stopped being so hung up on the damn ring she could see what a good life they have together, maybe even appreciate the little things.

If she's willing to leave the guy for failing to deliver the ring, does she love him or just the ring? He makes no real demands of her, why does she get to issue ultimatums over jewelery?

/marriage is the greatest lie ever told
/I know a dowry when I see it
/this metaphor now has a life of its own yet it still works
/pity Ms. The Barber; July 17, 2009 12:21 AM
Joanna said...: The ring in itself is not the issue. He keeps telling her it is coming and then doesn't follow through. That's the problem.

And to some people, making it official in the eyes of their family and well, God, is really important. It makes it legit. And the ring is just the symbol of that.

And when it comes to marriage, I'm not this person.; July 17, 2009 8:17 AM
QJays said...: hmmmm ... if this analogy is working for you, it is probably time to break it off with Mr. Blue Jay. He is clearly an uncommitted, uncaring man (possibly even seeing other people on the side) because he hasn't simply bought a ring.; July 17, 2009 11:27 AM
DAN THE MAN said...: You wrote that from the heart, and that I applaud you for.; July 17, 2009 12:48 PM
Mattt said...: Seeing as you are referring to a third party being in charge of the ring buying, not the boyfriend specifically, but the boyfriends GM if you will, then there is nothing to do but wait until the boyfriend fires his GM and gets a new one that is ready to commit...Simple as that.; July 17, 2009 3:58 PM
Mattt said...: Specifically it's been the boyfriends GM that continues to say next year. You always have the option of hating the entire team(boyfriend) for not getting it done but the boyfriend doesn't make the promises, so there are two issues here.

What bothers you more? The broken promises, or the failure to execute?; July 17, 2009 4:03 PM
Joanna said...: both.; July 17, 2009 4:17 PM
Bubbles said...: I won't take 15 years to give you a ring ;); July 17, 2009 6:20 PM
eyebleaf said...: marriage is the greatest lie ever told

Amen.; July 18, 2009 1:09 AM

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A Glossary of Terms

"God-damnit!"- What VDub says when he pops up, the exclamation caught crisply and clearly by the sportsnet mic near the field. One of the sounds of summer
A-Dog- sometimes, when Aaron Hill is particulary slick or awesome in the field, he is called A-Dog, in reference to O-Dog.
Acorn- BJ Ryan calls Accardo 'Acorn'. Why? I don't know. But if BJ calls him that, so do I.
Big Boy Pants- When a player, particularly a pitcher, doesn't let a bad call or walks or stupid plays effect him, but instead acts like an adult and rises above them towards awesomeness.
disgusted- how AJ Burnett looks when he is pitching, probably due to his filthiness
Eeyore- Ted Lilly often seemed sad. Was soft-spoken and had sad eyes. Much like Pooh Bear's donkey friend.
Ex-Jays in the playoffs- a fun game to play at home to drowned out Tim McCarver's ramblings. Try to pick out all the Ex-Jays who are playing in the playoffs, make a team out of them and decide whether the Ex-Jay team could beat the Current Jays team. Note that the number of Ex-Jays in the playoffs always outnumbers the current Jays in the playoffs.
Gloved-F-Bomb- When a pitcher will yell obsceneties into their glove after giving up a homerun or even just a stressful inning. An alternative is the elbow f-bomb, in which the pitcher will swear into their arm.
Hatchling- a baby Jay.
Intentional walk followed by unintentional walk- an example of total futility and uselessness. One of my dad's fav humiliation plays
J-Effin' Mac- John McDonald is so unassuming and workman-like in his awesomeness, sometimes it is necessary to add an expletive to emphasize his awesomeness
Lexi- Alex Rios
Lil' Scottie Downs- for some reason, my father calls Scott Downs this.
Motivational F-Bomb- If you watch closely, after a pitching coach or catcher has gone to talk to a pitcher,sometimes the pitcher will pump himself up by saying "fuck" to no one in particular
Peaches- Dustin McGowan's mutton chops are kind of fuzzy and he is from Georgia.
Pink, Round, Efficient- How I described Litsch's first big league start. The kid is very pink and very round.
Prance off homerun- What ARod does when he hits a walk-off.
Roy Halladay Fan Club- I wrote a piece once about the man-love that seemed to flow from the staff to their ace. Each pitcher had his own little way of expressing his love, for instance, Chacin stole one of Roy's shirts because it "smelled like victory".
Show Pony- Alex Rodriguez, incorporated into the repetoire from Stephen King's Red Sox book. So called for the ostentatious way he runs (and fields, and hits...)
Smoke salmon pink- Roy Halladay turns pink with rage when he pitches.
Sparrow- Josh Towers because he is slight and excitable.
Talented Bonehead- my dad and I had several conversations about AJ Burnett. His blowups, his inability to use a changeup, why he did the things he did. And I said "Dad, what is his problem?" and my dad sagely said, "Well, he's what one calls a talented bonehead. Million dollar arm, 10 cent head."
The Shit List- where much of the team, other than the pitching staff, has resided in 2007
unneighbourly- Fletcher once described an AJ pitch by saying "Well, that is just downright unneighbourly".

The moment I actually started liking Keith Law.

Jason (Denver): Even though you seem to be a Rockies hater, what do you think about Greg Reynolds?

Keith Law: (2:13 PM ET ) Jason, you must be new here. I hate EVERYBODY. I hate all 30 teams. I hate their GMs, managers, and clubhouse boys. I hate all prospects, I hate both sides of every trade ever made, I hate any contract signed for over the minimum. I hate fans of all thirty teams. And most of all, I hate YOU. Greg Reynolds is a 4th starter in the big leagues, but that's based on what I saw of him as an amateur and I'd like to see him healthy as a pro.