Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Just Shut Up

When the Red Sox lose to the Jays, it means that I descend into the belly of the beast, that cluster of assholes known as SOSH.

Just a note: Zaun did the colour on NESN yesterday, which is why they were talking about him so much. The reviews I got from Jays fans who listened said they liked Zaun, but the Sox fans on Twitter didn't. I've decided that I like Zaun and the Sox fans are assholes.

I have nothing to add except I hate Toronto and everything about them

Feeling is mutual, asshat.

Never thought I'd be happy having to watch the Sox play at that lousy stadium in Toronto, but this team sure could use a vacation from weather.

See, here is another bit of hate. I mean, I know I hate them. But I didn't until I discovered that they were entitled, racist blowhards. Do these people even know anything about Toronto? And the Rogers Centre certainly has it's issues, but at least the foul lines aren't a cluster fuck.

They should fine each pitcher 5K for every pitch on the inner half to Bautista.

Sounds like someone has a crush, Jose.

I feel like Kyle Drabek is the Pizza guy in a porn I saw once

I don't know what to say to that. Other than Drabek is way more talented than you and has probably seen more girls naked in real life.

BTW, this is still several hours before game time.

Having Zaun there makes me realize how much I'll miss Eck when the RemDawg returns

Yeah, because Eckersley's thinly veiled hatred of Toronto and Cito Gaston 20 years after Alomar made him his bitch was really entertaining when Eckersly discussed Toronto a few years ago. What a small, small little man.

This 96 MPH stuff is nuts, he is usually 92

I don't know what Drabek's deal was last night, other than too many pitches, not enough strikes. When the kid actually does throw strikes, they are so beautiful they could make angels weep. Kyle Drabek is a stud in the making.

Then Jon Lester took the hill and things got real.

Already six strikes called balls.

They were borderline. Both pitchers got squeezed. But frankly, neither pitcher demonstrated enough command to get borderline calls. And also? Shut up.

Well this game is a massive pile of dogshit already. Jesus christ, help your pitcher out.

Crappy pitching leads to crappy defense. It's the first inning, settle down. And also? Shut up. Just shut up.

Gregg Zaun sounds like the most boring human being on earth.

You realize you choose to watch Dice K pitch every five games, so your opinion on boring human beings isn't reliable. Also, this game was like 12 hours long. It isn't the Jays that play that way.

Zaun says the Blue Jays swinging the bat well... I'm not sure I agree with that...

Bautista is hitting well enough to cover for all of them.


Lester's getting a bad zone, with no low strikes, and he has so far refused to adapt.

You mean the ump isn't calling strikes below the zone? How dare he!

The thing about this game is that it was rather boring. And maddening. I mean, Jon Lester had nothing. The Jays had him on the ropes and couldn't deliver the knock out punch. And while Adrian Gonzalez opposite field homers are going to happen, it was annoying that the Sox were allowed to hang around and make it close.

How can we be losing to these guys?

I think it's the Sox fans. That, and shitty pitching.

HAHA Davis you idiot

Yeah. Davis getting caught in a rundown after hitting a triple was dumb. But Escobar missed a sign on a suicide squeeze, so perhaps it was Escobar, not Davis, who was the idiot and maybe, according to some, John Farrell for being so aggressive on the base paths. But then Davis in the 10th, where he basically ran at will on Jason Varitek, demonstrated just how fun it can be to have speed. So I've decided that the Sox fan who wrote that is the idiot. And also, more than one of them on that board thought Davis was safe.

I wouldn't go so far by saying I'm enjoying Zaun's commentary but he's not making me hate him. Can't say the same for most baseball color guys

Wow, how generous of you.

Crawford has a hitting streak, Gonzo is hammering the ball, can you say overreaction to April?

It's nearly the middle of May. And they are still total drama queens. So I don't think we can say overreaction to April but rather standard SOSHian world view.

So Adrian Gonzalez hit his first of two homers and the board went bananas. And then Jose Bautista, our crown jewel, saw 6 Lester pitches, including one he fouled off his foot that made him double over in pain, and took one over the fence. Demonstrating once again why Bautista is the best player in baseball. And what did these assholes say?


HGH is a wonderful thing

I'm sure Victor Conte is being properly compensated for whatever new designer steroid that he invented for Bautista.

No, that is Manny and Ortiz circa 2004. With Bautista, it's called bat speed and timing. And yeah, Jose Bautista is the only one who would have access to this mythical designer steroid. Just shut up.

Just tip your cap. Dude's a monster.

I know this is the easy way out people. It's like saying the reason why someone doesn't like basketball must be because they don't like black people. But c'mon. The guy came on the scene at the same time he completely changed his swing. It happened in an era with increased testing in which some people ARE getting busted. This just seems like a cheap and lazy approach..even for a gamethread.

See, it happens once in a while where one of them says something so right on, it's scary.

I was at the then Skydome in 2001 when one of the only games ever was cancelled (sic) there. I was staying at the hotel there when some of the roof panels collapsed. The game was subsequently cancelled(sic) and I was pissed because then all I got to do was go see the Toronto Zoo instead of a baseball game.

The Zoo has polar bears and giant cats. What's wrong with that? That sounds equally as fun as a 2001 Jays/Royals game you missed.

Let's just skip ahead to the tenth. After Gonzalez's second homer erased the lead given by David Cooper's first career homer. In both cases, they were beautiful swings.

But, first I will inject this, just for the rancor it will inspire.

I hate John McDonald so much. Trade him to the Twins already. He is a natural Punto replacement.

Is it so hard to see why I hate these people?

Ok, so Davis gets on and basically runs at will in the tenth.

Rajai Davis just stole Varitek's wallet.


It's gonna be Cooper's night, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. And Cooper almost displayed an emotion when he succeeded.

They are finding new and more ridiculous ways to lose. If you think about it, they are quite talented in finding creative ways to sucker punch us.

Yes, your team is losing on purpose. To spite you. Just shut up.


  1. I greatly appreciate that you sift SOSH for me so I don't lose my mind and smash something.

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