Things I learned from three days of Rogers Centre visits.
If you sit behind the bullpen often enough, Darren Oliver smiles first. If he retires after this season, I am going to hunt him down and un-retire him. It will not be pleasant for him. I may have to toss his out of a hammock and yell at him to get back to work. Pick up that option, AA. Pick it up. Don’t make me hammock toss you.
Joel Carreno, who speaks no English, will often sit alone with no one to talk to. He also stares at people like they are math problems he needs to solve and like he’s having an existential crisis because he can’t solve them. That is an emo dude.
Bullpen security guard Jay is awesome. Idiots were woo-hooing during the 9/11 memorial thing, and Jay wandered out and gave them the stink eye. He also wished me a happy birthday.
Never are men not shocked to meet a woman who can competently discuss baseball.
This season may be a lost one, but we’ll always have Edwin. 40 homers and 100+ RBIs is a milestone that looks good on anyone’s season. Also, according to poor Bruce Walton, Encarnacion’s broken bat feels a lot like the full brunt of an Edwin swing. And it is sort of amazing that the injury situation for the team this year has gotten so bad that the pitching coach is getting injured and leaving the game.
Steph Rogers has impeccable fashion sense and makes a kick ass game partner. She gave me Razzles and we discussed the fact that Adeiny Hechavarria looks like a beautiful, ambiguously gendered Somali model who may or may not soon appear in the pages of Italian Vogue. And how Colby Rasmus, just judging by the fluffiness of his hair, may or may not have had a wash and set pre-game.
Casey Janssen chews on his thumb for two innings and then works out for the next five. The others occasionally stretch or throw, but Janssen works out. He must have rotator cuffs of steel. He also occasionally has animated discussions with other pitchers. Steph Rogers was convinced Janssen was passionately defending his choice to wear high socks.
Steph’s mom is also awesome. She thought Romero should be given a puppy between innings. The only problem is that Romero might throw the puppy in the dugout.
There are serious politics involved with little league coaching.
If Omar Vizquel likes your shirt, you may be asked to trade for his. I said no. Some think I should’ve said yes.
The box office guy I bought my ticket from recognized me from Twitter and my blog. He tweeted me about it later. The power of minor Internet fame.
Only the most dignified person says, “Oh my God, that’s me” when she appears on the Jumbotron during the start of the national anthem. I also did a little wave.
Captain Latte is the Polkaroo of my Blue Jays experience. I’ve known her digitally for years, but have never been able to nail down a real life meeting. “Latte was here? I missed her again!”
Catherine is the greatest of all of these.