Friday, 16 November 2012

Slater Buehrle Can't Come Play

So one of the things I've noticed in the last few days while waiting for this trade to be approved/official is that American sports writers like to freak out over Toronto's "otherness."

One of the common things has been the tax situation. FLA has no income tax. Ontario does. So sports writers spilled a lot of digital ink on kvetching about that, ignoring the fact that leaving for a team anywhere outside the state would mean an increase in income tax. That's what happens when something goes from zero per cent to something higher. Several people have already pointed out to me that the income tax in Ontario wouldn't really apply to these players because considering all the road games in the average MLB season. A player doesn't spend enough time in province. Plus, aren't these dudes really rich? Shouldn't they have accountants to figure out all the hard math and loopholes for them? Bautista could probably hook them up. Bautista himself could probably do it for them. I'm picturing Bautista sitting at a desk in the clubhouse, with an adding machine.

The other major issue for hand wringing is over Mark Buehrle's pitbull Slater. Ontario has a ban on pitbulls, so Slater Buehrle wouldn't be welcome. Slater Buehrle is actually a fancy pit, a Staffordshire Terrier.   Writers have gone so far as to say that Buehrle is likely miserable about being traded to Toronto. I will say this. His wife is probably at least a little put out. He played in Chicago for so long, so she had to uproot to Miami last off season, and was planning on staying for a while. They've got little kids. They've got four dogs. It's a drag.

But they've got a lot of money. Money can often help smoothe over inconveniences of life.

The stupidest aspect of the wailing about the dog is that Miami-Dade county has a breed ban, too.  Buehrle has already made alternative arrangements for Slater and was able to live his life.

This just in: MELKY CABRERA. Unofficially 2 years/16 million.  AA is done caring about your nonsense and about me writing about Mark Buehrle's dog.

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