Not many people would go on a rant about bat flips and nerds after being asked about a pitcher who has been suspended for domestic assault, but not many people are Goose Gossage.
ESPN's Andrew Marchand asked Gossage about Aroldis Chapman making his spring debut, which somehow turned into a tirade about José Bautista's bat flip.
So man shooting up his garage door in anger in the presence of his child's mother or MLB suspending its first player under it's domestic violence policy is not nearly as worthy of discussion as a player flipping his bat after the biggest homer of his career.
Let's break this down:
"Bautista is a fucking disgrace to the game." One of the best hitters in the league, who has a pretty spotless reputation off the field, is a disgrace.
"He's embarrassing to all the Latin players, whoever played before him...." Who are probably thrilled an old white dude is speaking for them and putting words in their mouths. Did you take a poll, Goose?
"Throwing his bat and acting like a fool..." That bat flip wasn't foolish, it was pretty serious and it came at the end of one of the most insane, emotionally fraught innings ever played. I never got the sense Bautista was that happy or gleeful about it, just really satisfied.
"...like all those guys in Toronto." Who the hell is he talking about? Donaldson? I'm getting the sense someone is a little butt hurt that the Jays ran down the Yankees in 2015.
"Cespedes, the same thing." Ah, a Met. The New York team that didn't blow it down the stretch.
So how did José Bautista, that foolish disgrace to the game, respond?
Great ambassador for the game? Disappointed that he made those comments, but would never say anything about him?
That's rather measured comment from a disgrace to the game.
Also, "hopefully, we will whoop some more ass" is pretty great.
Bautista was even more measured to Gregor Chisholm.
I don't blame media people for asking Gossage about stuff because the man gives good quote. Not everyone compares PED users to murderers. That story just writes itself. But let's stop pretending this is a legitimate opinion we should listen to or that this is some sort of debate.
Except about nerds. No one like nerds. Seriously, the comments on nerds are even more insane. Gossage worked up quite the lather.
And to the Toronto sports radio people who invited Gossage to spout more of his garbage opinion, this is the proper response:
I included this picture because it's basically the best. That's José stretching, if you didn't see the "19" s on his shoes.