While I was not writing...

I took a little break from writing. The Jays swept Frankie Cats and his Rangers right out of town. Frankie, because he is a true gentleman, had nothing but kind and supportive words to say about Dustin McGowan. And Becks (sans Posh) came to town.

And then the Yankees rolled into town. Jesse Litsch, pink, round and efficient, took the loss in a close, tight game.

Yanks 5 Jays 4

And then Josh Towers, or Sparrow as I like to call him, took on ARod. He told Show Pony to take his "MINE!" and shove it by throwing at his shin. Alex took exception, Sparrow started towards him and it was so on. Benches and bullpens cleared. Everyone scrums a little, milling about and talking. Matt Stairs, pitbull extraordinaire, escorts ARod to his base. Everyone settles and sits back down. ARod is still whining and bitching, Overbay starts pointing at him and saying stuff and the benches clear again. Everyone settles down. Awesomely, Matt Stairs sits on the step and glares at Show Pony. Sparrow, cause he can't stand being too butch, gives up a two-run double. Sigh. Roger Clemens kicked Blue Jay ass in the place he seems to deny ever calling home. With a 7 run lead, he plunks Rios between the numbers and gets ejected in the 7th. He always did like punishing hot shots. Just ask Jeets.

Yanks 9 Jays 2

With AJ working his way off the DL and into the rotation, this could be Sparrow's last start as a Blue Jay. Let this be his epitaph: "You saw the effort, man. Johnny Mac and the rest of my defense -- Reed. These guys were playing unbelievable today, throwing guys out, diving and making unbelievable plays. I'm disappointed in myself for letting them down."

Thanks for the memories, kid. I remember when you were the go-to guy in '05. And that was a pretty bruise on Show Pony's shin.

A Memo

To: Blue Jays
From: Me

Re: Your sucking.

Hi Boys,

It's me. I have supported and defended you all season, but you are breaking my heart. You are the biggest teases ever. Why is it that you can go absolutely ape-shit on the best pitcher in baseball during last week's homestand but can't get anything done vs "the worst bullpen in the last 50 years"? Mike Wilner calls them that. Mike Wilner is an expert on sucking. Why is it that your loveable but sort of crappy 5th starter is the one who goes to the press and says what needs to be said, but not any of the so-called leaders? And then the "leaders" call him out for calling them out and call a players only meeting. It better have been to say "Thank you, Joshua, for kicking our asses. Your ass has been kicked so many times and any time you fuck up even a little, you are blamed solely and completely. It's time, as a team, as a unit, we take responsibility."

I am less mad at the pitchers, especially the Hatchlings. Jesse and Shaun, you guys are off the shit list. Roy? You are the one who should light a fire under your team. You are the one with the cred. AJ, no more chilli races, pies, nerf darts or boobs until 7-game winning streak. 7-games!!!!

Vernon, Troy and Frank. Okay, homeruns are nice but not always necessary. Walk, bunt, or freaking throw your head into the zone and take one for the team. Just a little hit, keep the line moving. Stop pressing, stop popping out and stop k-ing. And stop pissing me off!!!

And stop losing series to shitty teams like the D-Rays and White Sox. Just stop it.

I only yell because I care.


Can't leave them alone for a minute

Well, I go away for a few days and the Jays go a little crazy, in more ways than one. First, the offense goes absolutely nuclear on the Twins' pitching and sweep Minnesota right out of town. Then, on a five game winning streak, proceed to lose close games on Friday with Sparrow pitching (and bitching) and on Saturday with Doc on the mound. Shaun Marcum, quickly becoming my hero, salvaged the Windy City series.

Sparrow, annoyed at being pulled on Friday, decides he's got something to say : "I just don't think that we consistently put ourselves in position to make plays every time. I don't think that we consistently show up as a coaching staff and as a team every day. I think it shows sometimes. It's a game that we're in full control and we should have won and we didn't. All around, it wasn't a great game by us."

Wait, did he just say something every single fan who pays even a little attention has said at one time or another this season? What the hell is going on?

The Education of Felix

Mariners 0 Jays 8

Last time the Jays won back to back with shutouts?

Sat, Sep 6, 2003 TOR DET W 1-0 R Halladay F Rodney
Sun, Sep 7 2003 TOR DET W 8-0 J Towers C Mears

Last two days...

Sat, Jul 21 2007 TOR SEA W 1-0 J Towers J Weaver
Sun Jul 22 2007 TOR SEA W 8-0 R Halladay F Hernandez.

Oooo Wee Ooo

So Young King Felix completely lost his cool today. He had two on, nobody out, after Royce Clayton got an infield hit because neither he, nor Sexson nor the 2nd basemen were covering 1st. Reed bunts Zaun and Royce over. 1 out. They walk Lyle intentionally, to set up the double play. Rios is up, fights off some pitches. Felix lays one on the outside corner. It's probably a strike, but it isn't called. Felix huffs a little, and pitches another one farther in on the plate that Rios shoots through the hole on the left side. 2 runs score. Felix gets a little more rattled and his skip comes out to yell and get tossed. Game is just 2-0. But, he serves one up to Troy Glaus, who absolutely violates the ball into the seats, cracking the game open, at 5-0.

Felix, take note. When you don't get a call, do not huff. Do not puff. If you thought it was there, pitch the next one, right there in the exact same spot. Tell the ump, with that pitch, "I don't think you saw it right, here it is again." And if Alex looks at it again, the ump will ring his ass up. Do not give Alex something over the plate. You gave in, Felix. You must never give in. Ever.

Take Roy. Roy never gives in. Complete game shutout. And the bats were alive with the sound of the Shea Horn. The team needed this kind of win. And the fans sure as hell needed this one.