It's Not Charming

That was one action packed weekend of baseball.

Jose Bautista is unconscious right now. And apparently really likes hitting in Target Field. Pitcher's park, my foot.

“It's ridiculous, it feels like a dream right now,” Bautista said. “Sometimes I can't really believe it myself, but I keep seeing the good pitches.”

I thought I would visit the ESPN message board to see what the Internet plebs are saying about Bautista.

The rest of the AL should just agree to walk him every at bat just to protest his obvious PHD use.

He's using his doctorate to hit homers? Damn him!

The truth is I sort of felt sorry for the Twins. A lot of things are not going their way and the Jays basically poured salt in the wound. Not that I'm not glad. There was also a variety of different sorts of wins:

1. There was a classic Roy Halladay type win that might have been a loss. Halladay (played by Ricky Romero) pitches his face off into the 9th inning and is given next to no run support because the Jays have decided to give a middling pitcher (played by Carl Pavano) a chance at a win by leaving a village on base. They are democratic that way. Bautista hit a homer because he realized Juan Rivera had an RBI and he didn't. He couldn't let that stand.

2-There was an extra inning win in the rain. A Bautista homer in the 11 being the difference and all the other runs being gravy. The Jays let the Twins hang around long enough to prevent Jo Jo Reyes from getting a win. They are fascist that way.

3. There was a blowout win in the sunshine. Jose Bautista hit 3 homers. In this episode of Corey's Baserunning Adventures, Patterson was sprinting into third on Bautista's opposite field homer. Neither of us know why. Brandon Morrow pitched well, and the run cushion let him work out his little kinks during the game. Hey, Brandon? Why did the Twins keep pitching to Bautista, when it was clear he was just hotter than a supernova and making sport out of their misery? "You have to pitch it somewhere."

“He doesn't swing at their pitch ever,” Adam Lind said. “You're witnessing the best Blue Jay ever.”

"He's turned himself into the best hitter in the game, as far as I'm concerned. It's pretty amazing,” Michael Cuddyer said. “Every single ball he hits, whether it's a foul ball or whatever, is right on the barrel. To me it looks like he's used one bat the whole season. It's unbelievable. Words can't describe what he looks like at the plate right now.”

I find this really funny because for someone who says he has no words to describe just used a hell of a lot of words to describe.

In other news, Jorge Posada was just ridiculous on Saturday. I'm sure he knows when the lineups are posted and that if he was in the lineup and not in the game, it was going to be a thing. Especially since the game was on national tv. Posada knew he was going to be in the 9 hole the day before. If he had quietly said to Girardi that morning that he wasn't up to playing, I'm sure it wouldn't have been a thing. Or just say it's your back and be done with it.

Thinking back on the time that he high elbowed Jesse Carlson a few years ago after Carlson had thrown behind him. Behind him. And Posada had that whole time on base to get over it. I think Randy Ruiz had taken a pitch to the mouth, to the point that he was spitting blood. Posada is just a big baby. I wonder if he even remembers that he, as a young guy, took over the catcher's job from Joe Girardi. Posada probably thinks he lost the catcher's job in the off season because Girardi is now seeking revenge after all these years.

Sarah Silverman was so right on about Sox fans. Red Sox fandom is about being a loser and it's not charming when you are winning and a Masshole. It's my whole SOSH experience crystallized into one simple phrase.

I don't always love her. I mean, only idiots don't appreciate this. But I don't always love her. But she totally flustered Tim McCarver. LSD for pitchers. But I think Matthew Broderick is a Mets fan. Sarah Jessica Parker likes the Yankees.