A Week in Baseball: Two Sleeve Slams and an Evening with Stro.

I have come to the realization that this might be as sweet, as delicious, as beautiful as 2017 Blue Jays baseball is gonna get.

One came to cap off a four game sweep of the Athletics. 

The other was to salvage a rather dismal series vs the Angels. 

Oh Sleeve- you can't wear eye black to save your life, but those are some pretty, pretty bombs. 

Seven unanswered runs make everything better. I was ready to write this one off as another Sunday in July disaster and it really did look like it was going that way. 

I mean, it was a series that started with the Jays losing Tulowitzki two years to the day he was traded to the Jays. That's so 2017 Blue Jays. 

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This happened in the fourth game of the Athletic's series and is the other big story of the week:

I don't think I've ever seen a pitcher and catcher tossed within ten seconds of each other. I don't know what Martin said, but it must of been saucy. 

Per Arden Zwelling tweet, from the horse's mouth:

Just pull out a good old: 

"Ostie d’crisse de tabarnak
Ostie d’câlisse de viarge." 

Stro post-game comments:

What did Gibby say? More than one f-bomb. 

Here's some audio from the John Gibbons ejection.

"Were you out all fucking night?"#GibbyTheBest pic.twitter.com/kqo5UVtUpG

— Mark Sheldon (@markdsheldon) July 27, 2017

"Were you out all fucking night?" is a classic. 

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From Jays Care Foundation's Twitter

Later on Thursday evening, I attended "An Evening with Stro", an event put on by the Jays Care Young Professionals (I'm a member) to benefit the Jays Care Foundation. 

Stroman, interviewed by the always great Hazel Mae, talked extensively about HDMH, baseball his life, his family and answered audience submitted questions, including about his friends, who on the team is the funniest (Steve Pearce, unintentionally) and talked about music and fashion.

Speaking of fashion, because I pay attention to these things, our boy was wearing a velvet baseball hat that said "Wasted Tears" on it. 

It's a hat from Enfant Riches et Déprimés, which is the label of a designer named Henry Levy. Complex Magazine wrote a story about him in 2016.

(I'm not judging it, really, but it is vaguely hilarious that Levy talks about his punk aesthetic- nothing says 'punk' like a $400 velvet hat. It's ok- he's a rich kid who makes clothes for other rich kids. It's fine.) 

Pusha T wears the label:

and I'm sort of obsessed with Pusha T. 

This is still one of my favourite fashion videos ever:

In this picture I took, you'll also notice something rather large on the power finger of Stro's pitching hand. It was designed by Band Aid. 

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Stroman’s mom Adlin and sister Sabria, who run HDMH out of his mom’s house on Long Island, were at the event.

They had a little pop up shop set up to sell the merch and it remained hopping even after Marcus and his entourage of boys in skinny jeans peaced out.

The crowd had made a mess of the shirts on the table and because I’m a Virgo who has worked some retail in my life, a pile of shirts means I gotta be folding them. I can’t help it.

So I stood there and merchandized them while I looked for a shirt I liked.

Marcus’ sister Sabria saw me doing it and said, “I love you for doing that.” and smiled at me. Her smile matches her brother’s, and they both get it from their mother. These people are genetically blessed by great teeth.

I settled on this one:

Adlin was using an iPad as a POS terminal. She came over to take my money, and I thanked her for sharing Marcus with us. She looked at me and said, “Oh my God, you are gonna make me cry!” in a classic New York Boricua accent. And she talked about how much she loves visiting Toronto and being here, and that she should just get a dual citizenship.

I also told her I also have green eyes (her name on Twitter is BehindGrnEyes) and she high fived me.

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Stroman’s favourite question seemed to be “Jay-Z or Nas?” and he hemmed and hawed, said he loved that question and then chose Jay-Z.

No one asked me, but this is what I’d say- I think career-wise, Jay-Z has put out a higher volume of quality, but Nas, at his peak, is unbeatable. Illmatic is arguably the greatest hip hop album ever.

However, Jay-Z ‘s overall output is probably stronger, it's over 20 years. His new album is pretty great. 

It’s tough. It's really the best of what New York hip hop has to offer. 

Let's end on music:

A classic from Nas:

And this one is new from 4:44. I love this video:

The Summer of Our Discontent

It’s well documented that I was very unhappy with the Jays when they failed to re-sign Edwin Encarnación. It was a little extra irritating when, a few days before Christmas, he signed with Cleveland.

The Blue Jays had been eliminated from the ALCS by Cleveland about two months before. Cleveland was already a better team and the Jays allowed one of their best pieces to be an asset to them. It felt like Cleveland was going one way and Toronto was going another.

Friday’s game, which I’ve titled “Edwin Will Have His Revenge”, was particularly rough. Cleveland needed hits and Encarnación delivered in a way Jays fans have become accustomed to. 

The different directions were very apparent this weekend.

Out hit, out pitched, out classed. Of the two, one of these teams is going to have "Meaningful September Baseball" and the other one is the Toronto Blue Jays.

What’s that, Gibby?

John Gibbons: "Today was just a horseshit game all the way around -- I can't describe it any better than that."

— Arden Zwelling (@ArdenZwelling) July 23, 2017

That about sums it up. 

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Things are ugly in a way not seen in a good long while. Every day, new terrible stats are tweeted out.

Did you know that the Blue Jays’ run differential is -20303940? And that the run differential is the worst since the beginning of time?

You do now! It’s not just your imagination that this is bad! We are going to reinforce your negative thoughts with cold, hard stats! Wallow! And then complain about Troy Tulowitzki’s “bad attitude” on Twitter.

I get the media is trying to tell the story, but it is starting to sound like a relentless dirge. Find a new angle, fellas. You can do it.

I would like to put a hold on this idea that was circulating around Twitter yesterday:

Worth mentioning, #BlueJays have been mostly healthy this month as well. Minus Sanchez. Regular lineup has been in there.

— Gregor Chisholm (@gregorMLB) July 23, 2017

This is not a hit on Mr. Chisholm, but I’m going to call bullshit on this. Regulars not on the DL does not equal healthy. 

I refuse to believe that Josh Donaldson is healthy. I don't believe it. I don't. 

He’s had calf issues to start the season and jammed his hand the other day versus Boston. And that’s just the stuff we know about.

Aaron Sanchez's blister issue illustrates how health can ebb and flow. 

And even if Donaldson is actually healthy, the time missed has an effect on his timing. Watching him, with my eyes, it’s clear he just isn’t right. He's missing pitches he normally crushes.

And that’s just Donaldson. That doesn't address the various others I suspect are walking wounded.

The only one I believe is feeling pretty good is Justin Smoak.

And “regular lineup” isn’t accurate while Devon Travis remains on the DL.

May has, by far, been the best month in this 2017 season. Travis was regularly in the lineup. He made all of them go and his absence leaves a hole. They can't seem to get it going without him.

I don't know why media and the fans don't want to acknowledge that health has been an issue, but it's key. These guys haven't mysteriously regressed towards terrible sucking. It's health. 

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Hilariously sad Steve Simmons tweet:

Is the world missing a new Steve Simmons hot take? Does anyone care about this? 

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Stoeten talks about how much fun Stroman is to watch this season for Vice Sports.

Arden Zwelling with a fantastic piece about Vlad Jr.

Some Stacey May Fowles Baseball Life Advice from Vlad Sr. 

Finally, Joey Votto delivered on his promise of a donkey for Zach Cozart. 

More donkeys. Less horseshit. 

Baseball is Funny: A Week of Baseball Thoughts

Baseball is funny. The Jays just split a four game series with the Astros, the best team in baseball. 

The scores went as follows:

7-4 Jays

12-2 Astros

7-2 Jays

19-1 Astros 

50% of the time, the Jays made the Astros look pretty ordinary (the Astros were particularly ordinary on Saturday. The great defensive play Donaldson made followed by his three run homer seemed to suck their energy away.) And 50% of the time, the Astros looked like a relentless killing machine.

The Astros were the shark from Jaws.  And the Jays needed a bigger boat. 

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I was at the game Saturday and it was one of the best games I've ever been to. It was sunny, but I was in the shade. There were nachos. There were friends.

I sat in Section 244 which was perfect for two reasons: one, it was in the shade. I like the sun, I just don't like sitting in it and two, it offered a complete view of the field, which was perfect for explaining things to one of my friends who is new to baseball. She was particularly intrigued by the attempted pickoffs of the runner on first.  Also, an explanation of a balk (without actually seeing it) which included a spelling of the word "balk." 

When Mike Fiers went up and in with a pitch to Donaldson, I said, "You better make him pay for that, Josh. You better go large." And then, a couple of pitches later, HE DID.

I screamed "GET IT, BOY. GET IT."

I lost my voice. And my mind. 

"I feel like I've been able to see the ball better," Donaldson told MLB.com . "Slow the game down and ultimately have better at-bats. Also, defensively, I've begun to do that as well. That's important and we want it to be perfect all the time, but sometimes it gets away from us. I feel like it's definitely getting more repeatable and more consistent."

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The picture for the Blue Jays is unclear, are they this team that can make the Astros look ordinary, or are they this team the Astros scored 36 runs against?

Do they add? Do they blow up? Do they semi-blow up?

It's all very much in the air.

Gibbons on what he wishes for the second half of season: "...world peace..and more wins." #BlueJays

— Hazel Mae (@thehazelmae) July 9, 2017

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Earlier in the week, the Jays took two of three from the Yankees. Whatever else happens this season, this moment might be baseball at it's most pure and wonderful:

Roberto Osuna vs. Aaron Judge with two outs, the Yankees a run down with a man on second. The game is on the line and the rookie phenom is at the plate:

I want to eat it with a spoon.

This also happened:

He's so delightfully confused. As he should be. 

Congrats on your first All Star Game, kid. Well deserved. 

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There was a good deal of celebration on Jays Twitter when Josh Donaldson had Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone as his walk up music. And some were sad when he made a new choice.

I am not.

Danger Zone is a totally fine song. But it's also very generic. A lot of dudes would pick Danger Zone.

His replacement walk up song is so much more interesting.

The beat on this thing is sick. Siiiiiiiiiick. It's almost 20 years old and it's still ridiculous. It sounds new.

NPR wrote about the song here.

Donaldson has some of the most eclectic music taste in terms of walk up songs and this is just another great one.  It's got funk in it, it's got electronica in it. I still sing it sometimes when I get out of the shower. 

Outkast is pure South, and Donaldson is a Southern boy. 

I love when you stare at me I'm dressed so fresh so clean
(So fresh and so clean clean)

In other walk up news, this is Russell Martin's

The Hype Williams video is so late 90s. Particularly the green lame hot pants and the fish eye lens.

Kevin Pillar's is Arrested Development's  People Everyday , which is an update of the Sly and Family Stone classic Everyday People.

If Pillar wanted to really appeal to his Toronto fans, he might want to consider some Kardinal Offishall.

If you attend many games, you might recognize the: 

Let me here you say T dot Oooooooo (Oooooooo!)
Yeaaah! (Yeaaah!)
T-Dot O, yeah, O, yeah
O, yeah, O, yeah, O, yeah, O, yeah

Which is from this track:

I love the video, too, shot in Toronto and directed by RT! 

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This is the stuff:

That Blue Jay is on the sleeve of top #Jays prospect Vladimir Guerrero Jr. pic.twitter.com/zmv3xwYef2

— Rob Longley (@longleysunsport) July 9, 2017

Needed That Desperately: Jays Drop Two of Three to Orioles

The game on June 27th between the Blue Jays and the Orioles had all the irritating hallmarks of this 2017 team.

Decent starting pitching, decent bullpen pitching, an offense ineffective against middling LH pitchers, a turning point in the game where a much needed hit with RRSP never comes and a solo homer to remind people that they can hit, they just can't when they really need it. And, of course, a loss to the Orioles. 

"Not many chances to get things going," said Blue Jays manager John Gibbons, whose team had just three at-bats with runners in scoring position. "A couple, and then of course Tulo's home run. A lean night."

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Marcus Stroman attacked down in the zone, went hard after a very tough Orioles' lineup and was generally fantastic. In short, he pitched like an ace.

"I work extremely hard between starts to put my body in a position where I'm able to go deep into games and maintain velocity," said Stroman, who walked off the field to a standing ovation. "I credit that to the work that everyone puts in. The training staff, the strength and conditioning staff here has been unbelievable. My body feels great. I feel like I could have went another inning, another two innings. I feel great where I'm at right now."

It was a great game. A dominant start from the starter, timely hits and a no nonsense appearance from the closer.

"A dangerous team, a tough team to shut down," said Gibby. "We needed that. We needed that game desperately." 

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"Early in the game, I felt really strong and thought I was getting some early outs, keeping the pitch count down," Happ said. "I think any time you keep any team in this league, especially this division, in this ballpark, in the ballpark, you give yourself a chance to win. So overall I felt pretty good about it."

Happ is the only who feels pretty good about it. Though the loss last night was nowhere near his fault. 

The general moaning about Jimenez and the Jays’ inability to beat him was a consistent theme last night, but here’s the thing: Jimenez, when on, is near unhittable.

Last night, he threw a tonne of strikes. The hitters could stand there and look at them, or swing at them.

 But Jimenez, when on, is near unhittable. Most contact turned into outs.

 The reason Jimenez went into that game with an ERA over 7 is that he isn’t consistently on. He’s wild, which leads to walks, which leads to missing over the plate, which leads to runs. If he had been wild and the Jays failed to score, it would’ve been more concerning. This was just irritating. 

 It’s frustrating and irritating.  It was terrible to watch. Looking at the ERA and thinking that the Jays “should” beat Jimenez.  But since when does “should” factor into baseball?

Highlight? Highlight.

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Josh Donaldson's face and demeanor have become barometers for this team.

More of this:

Less:

More:

Less:

Make Josh happy again. 

Good Ground: Bautista and Liriano Team up to Salvage One from KC; Meeting Legends; Osuna and Anxiety.

The Blue Jays managed to salvage one from the Kansas City Royals on Sunday by hitting the baseball in a timely manner.  It seems so easy when they do it which makes it all the more frustrating when they don't. 

Francisco Liriano limited a very pesky Royals team to two runs over six innings and earning his 100th career win. 

“I was throwing strikes with it early in the count. It was working pretty good. I feel pretty good about it.”

— -Francisco Liriano to Sportsnet.ca

Bautista, who hit a beautiful homer to tie both the game and Joe Carter on the all-time Blue Jays RBI list, describes the homer as a bit of luck:

“It’s a feel thing. If you feel like the ball’s going to end up in the zone, you try to go after it. And, lucky enough, he put one right there on a tee for me. I’m sure he wants that one back and that he wasn’t trying to locate it right there. But sometimes pitchers make mistakes and hitters take advantage, and I feel like that was one of those moments.”

— José Bautista to Sportsnet.ca

Despite what some in the media were saying, this was never actually the “soft” part of the schedule, particularly if you looked past the standings. The Rangers were hot. The Royals had won 11 of 13. 

The Jays now face the Orioles, the Red Sox, the Yankees and the Astros. It looks scary, but Bautista doesn't seem worried:

“It’s not going to be do-or-die type of baseball, but it’ll definitely be a good stretch of games heading into the break where we could make up some good ground. After a tough first month, I think overall our record has been pretty good. We’ve been having to battle a lot of things — guys going down and stuff like that. But for the most part, we’re healthy and we’ve just got to get in a groove where we’re all playing together and everybody’s doing what we’re capable of doing and the machine is running on all cylinders. Hopefully we get to do that here, especially during this stretch.”

— José Bautista to Sportsnet.ca

Just as an aside, the top definition on the Urban Dictionary for "José" goes like this:

Yeah. 

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I went to the Opening Pitch event in Toronto put on by the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame last Thursday.

I had the pleasure of meeting Roy Halladay for the first time. I wrote so much about this guy in the early days of this blog (comparing and contrasting Halladay in style and substance to A.J. Burnett was an early preoccupation). Meeting him and interacting with him was surreal. The sense I got from Doc, which matches pretty much how I imagined him, was that while he was fully appreciative of people's admiration, but a part of him wondered what the fuss was about. Doc's the guy that throws a perfect game and still does the post-start workout he'd do if he gave up 10 runs. 

He laughed when I said, "You were always so great to watch. Even when you were terrible, you were great." I didn't know how else to say it. 

I also met Vladimir Guerrero. I don't know how much English Vlad speaks (though it's clear he understands plenty.) I put my hand out for him to shake and told him, among other things, that Jays fans were very excited about his kid. He took my hand and just looked at me. Not in a creepy or awkward or sexually charged way, but like he was contemplating. Contemplating me, contemplating what I'd said, contemplating life itself. It was a little unnerving but I kind of wanted to keep looking at him and have him look at me in the quiet, contemplative way he has. But it couldn't last.

I also met Pat Hentgen, who told me he has already read my blog (which, wow). He's very affable and, for whatever reason, something about him just made me want to tease him. Not in a mean way, but Mr. Hentgen inspired quippiness in me. The look he gave me when I explained "hum and chuck" to him was great. 

The view from Miller-Thompson. 

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"I don’t really know how to explain it. I just feel anxious. I feel like I’m lost a little bit right now. This has nothing to do with me being on the field. I feel great out there. It’s just when I’m out of baseball. When I’m not on the field, I feel just weird and a little bit lost.”

Somewhere in the 9th inning to post-game dank of Friday's game, there was a lot of talk about the health of Roberto Osuna.

It's not a massive conspiracy. People have days off. He's worked a lot.

— Joanna (@HumandChuck) June 24, 2017

This was a notable discussion:

Maybe the guy is sick.. Maybe hungover.. Maybe broke team rule and had unannounced suspension.. They didn't announce unavailable.. Seems odd

— James Brent Allan (@Jamieyaheard) June 24, 2017

Probably not... but if it was minor team rule.. Maybe missed curfew then he it's possible.. Just saying not feeling well just seems weird

— James Brent Allan (@Jamieyaheard) June 24, 2017

As soon as Gibbons said Osuna "wasn't feeling well" on Friday and then basically shut the discussion down, I knew what that meant. Because it's my code. It's how I articulate it. I actually made a joke about it on Twitter:

is he hormonal and bloated and tired of the humidity, because SAME.

— Joanna (@HumandChuck) June 24, 2017

my eyeballs are itchy and my calf muscles hurt. I'm also not talking to the media tonight.

— Joanna (@HumandChuck) June 24, 2017

Not because it's funny but because I, too, know the feeling of being lost and unsure. Like your skin is on inside out. That you are dumb or ugly or dull or just not right. Nothing feels good or right, no matter what anyone says or does. You can't make simple decisions because the imagined consequences are blaring at you. You can't pinpoint the issues because there is simultaneously no issue and every issue. 

You aren't feeling well.

One thing I will say is that while talking about it is a good thing, having to answer questions about it and having to take advice about exercise and sunshine and sleeping from every random person might not be. 

I, for one, hate talking about it, even though I understand the importance of sharing.  Mostly because I don't feel like it's anyone's business. 

And there is something to be said about minding your own damn beeswax. 

The one time I've met Roberto Osuna was at a signing in 2015- it was actually the day the Jays traded for David Price. Anyway, I had remembered that Osuna tweeted looking for good Latin, particularly Mexican, food in Toronto. I asked my friend Rodrigo, who happens to be Mexican, where he likes and told Osuna that my Mexican friend had recommended these places. Osuna looked at me with those ridiculously large, dark eyes of his and said, "I don't have any Mexican friends here." 

It stuck with me for a few reasons- one of them being that it was really funny (I fully believe he was trying to be funny) and also, yeah, moving to a whole new country where the language and the culture is completely different would be really lonely. 

#BlueJays closer Roberto Osuna said he feels better than he did yesterday, and that he appreciates all the support he's received. pic.twitter.com/Fx6TElJy5z

— Sportsnet (@Sportsnet) June 25, 2017

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A handful of reads:

Israel Fehr talked to Russell Martin for The Athletic on reading hitters' swings.  If you love either the minutiae of baseball  or just enjoy when Russell Martin talks about his craft, find an article that will do both. 

Eric Koreen, also from The Athletic, talking about Osuna's issue. 

Mark Buehrle got his number retired by the Chicago White Sox this weekend and wrote about it for The Player's Tribune. I know Chicago has his heart, but I will always love and appreciate Mark Buehrle for how he conducted himself while he was a Toronto Blue Jay. For all the advice and support he gave our current pitchers and for just being a chill dude who knows how to do it. 

One Buehrle start was so efficient, I was able to watch the whole game and still had time to get drunk on margaritas at my friend's goodbye party at El Catrin in the Distillery District. That's a direct line to a girl's heart.