Just Different

Sometime after his laser beam to cut down Nick Markakis at third but sometime before his 2nd homerun (30th on the season) I declared, to myself, that Jose "Mighty Beard" Bautista is playing like an MVP. And of course, people, especially the ones like to be arm chair GMs or are into fantasy baseball, start thinking it's time to trade him. Because I am not one of those people, I am reckless with my baseball love and care nothing for the future, I don't want the man traded. I want to watch Jose Bautista throw laser beams, hit bombs, grow manly beards and rescue damsels for my team. In Toronto. Different looking, different smelling, different sounding, just different Toronto. It's always nice when a player comes into his own, but this has seemingly come out of nowhere for Bautista.

One can't forget the behind the back glove flip to Hill that Escobar pulled off. And his "wheeee" laughter and applause afterward.

As for who is on the trading block (everyone) and what is going to happen, it has become clear that AA is not messing around. Both the Yankees and the Red Sox have been kicking Scott Downs' tires and our GM told the Yankees he wants Joba "Perpetual Midges" Chamberlain. Chamberlain has been sucking heavily for the last little while, but he has a lot of stuff and maybe Bruce Walton wants to tinker a little. The Yankees balked at the suggestion. The Red Sox would have to part with one or two top infield prospects I haven't heard of, but are highly regarded. It should be interesting.

Mean Muggin'

The win last night, brought about by Jose Bautista's 25th homerun of the season, was the secondary story to the "drama" that occurred in the bottom of the ninth. Kevin Gregg, whose issues included his trouble throwing strikes and getting jobbed on the right side edge of the plate by the ump, got pulled because he walked the bases loaded. He had two outs and knows that Clarence is a slave to the save, so Gregg was probably shocked that he wasn't left in to lose the game. Camp came in, got a call on the edge of the plate that was denied to Gregg and then induced a ground ball, saving the game and saving the day.

People on Twitter were, well, twittering about the drama between Cito and Gregg when Cito pulled him. There was a little mouthiness back and forth. Actually, the mouthiness was on Gregg's part (I think he said 'Fuck' but 'Fuck something' not 'Fuck you') and Cito gave him the death stare lazer eyes down the bench when he returned to the dugout and a "See me after class." motion when the team was on the field for handshakes and ass pats. People speculated what might happen. Spankings, lectures, floggings, trades? But no, none of that. Just a calm restoration of order.

For the people worried about the sass, please. We lived through "Fuck you, John." Just look.


"Fuck you, John." will result in tunnel fistacuffs and a bloody nose.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" will result in a death stare and a post-game lecture which will make you say: "He saw things differently. I think I was just more surprised by the move than anything, but that's his right as a manager." Nice concession there, Kevin.

The Molina reaction should be the true test. The look on Bengie's face tells me he knows shit is about to go down. Jose? He's already over it. There is no shit about to go down.

Let it Whistle as it Will

Well, so far so good for the new kid. Yunel Escobar had an infield hit, a walk and a very nifty snag out of the air, robbing Pie of a base hit.

I can't find a link to embedded this video, so I have linked to Fox South's Facebook page. Escobar likes to whistle on the field. Loudly. Chipper Jones, who may or may not have had work done on his face, found it annoying/charming/annoying. I think it's a situation where if you are hitting .289 and make nice plays in the field, it's a charming quirk. But if you and Mendoza are overly friendly and you just air-mailed a routine ground ball leading to 2 RBIs, you better shut the fuck up.

Don't Run with Fear

The All-Star game was long and annoying and not managed particularly well on the part of Mr. Girardi. I've written the NL win off as our punishment for Doc and Scott Rolen being in the NL now.

Scott Rolen, owner of my baseball heart, put on a clinic on how to play baseball when you are a talented malcontent son of a bitch who plays like your ass is perpetually chapped.

A rocket third to first, a heads up first to third advance on a mushy single that set up the inning that led to the NL win and smacking a hit off Phil "Am I good for real yet?" Hughes. Plus a nice tag on Mauer at 3rd.

First to third, huh?

"That's how I play the game ... That's what the situation called for. We play (Friday) at home against the Rockies. If it comes up again, I'll try the same thing and see if someone can throw me."

But Scott, aren't you 95 ? How did you know you could make it safely? "I didn't ... That's the beauty of it. You take a chance. Don't run with fear."

Meow.

And no offense to Bryan McCann (who is one of the guys in baseball that looks like he could be Larry Walker's kid. ) but for my money, Rolen is the game's MVP. I thought John Buck, in his first All Star game, was the standout amongst the Jays. and hit a nice single (scored as l'optionnel) that might have turned into something had Girardi pinch ran ARod for David Ortiz. What? ARod on the bench? The more I think of it, the more it's annoying. Maybe he needed ARod to hit, but then maybe sub ARod for Papi's at bat.

Anyway, that was that. In Girardi's defense, losing The Boss on the day of the All Star game was probably tough on him, Girardi being a long time Yankee. And he cried during the moment of silence and was most asked about it all day long.

I'm going to miss Alex Gonzalez. He is kind of like Rolen in that he is excellent with his glove, provides a solid bat and is a rock to build an infield around. But younger is good, too. Let's see if the new kid can be reborn like Gonzalez and Scutaro were in that role.

Two Fewer Yankees

Bob Shepard, with that quivering Old East Cost accent of his, was the voice of the Yankees forever. This video gives me chills. What a life he had.


George Steinbrenner bought the New York Yankees in 1973 for 10 million dollars. Just think how much ARod makes this season to put that into perspective. The Yankees earned 11 pennants and 7 World Series titles under his watch and became the team we loathe today. "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing."

Larry David memorably played Mr. Steinbrenner on Seinfeld, but the real deal was on it, too. Which proves, at least sometimes, he was a good sport. "You dance, don't ya? Lose a little weight, get yourself in shape and then when they throw the bridal bouquet, then maybe you'll get it."



Oh, and this has nothing to do with Steinbrenner, other than it's Costanza and Yankee related, but it cracks me up.

"Are you the guy who put us in the Ramada in Milwaukee?"

Back back back back back back back back back back....

Back back back back....


I sort of hate the Home Run Derby. It's often kind of dumb with a dash of dull. It also sort of bugs that it's either a home run or an out. I always think "Hey, that's a base clearing double. That's a line drive!!" And a few years ago when Josh Hamilton put on a monster show, but Justin Morneau won based on the rules. Anyway, it especially bugged that Jose Bautista, he of more home runs than anyone else fame, wasn't asked to participate. I know he isn't as big a name as say Chris Young (who apparently plays for the Diamondbacks, according to my research, although the only one I noticed in our series was Justin Upton. I coveted Justin Upton. Anyway, Bautista still should have been asked and no, I'm not being naive. I know why he wasn't. But that doesn't mean the stench of bullshit isn't overwhelming.

But congratulations, David Ortiz. You've always seemed like a nice guy, full of laughter. Your book was interesting. Thanks for saying Bautista should be in the Derby. And for this from the New Yorker article on Manny Ramirez , when he was asked to describe Manny:

“As a crazy motherfucker.” Then he pointed at my notebook and said, “You can write it down just like that: ‘David Ortiz says Manny is a crazy motherfucker.’

Vernon Wells hit two jacks. He also swung at everything. Shame on you those who are surprised.

Sportsnet aired a special segment on the return of Awesome Vernon Wells. He talked about why he doesn't smash stuff when he's frustrated (probably answering those who say he doesn't care.) Vernon says "It's not the batting helmet's fault." Come one, Dubs, we know it was totally the helmet.

(Red Sox Player Name) Needs to Fuck Off

The most magical place to be in all the Internets is SOSH when the Sox lose.
Let's take a look. It was classic.

WTF is with Lackey. We are paying this douche 18.5 million a season.

The eating of the young.

Looking forward to Boston erupting for 10 runs, winning this game 10-9 and hearing Lackey talk about how he's pleased with the way he pitched because they won the game.

Delusion.

I love how this asshole wants every close pitch that's clearly a ball.

Irony.

This is gonna be one long ass game.

Tell that to Youk and his 10 thousand practice swings.

I really thought that Morrow was going to end up an ace. Oops.

Yeah, it's always wise to watch a pitcher for two innings and make predictions.

Wow. Bautista is not an outfielder, is he?

Respect the arm.

"HR #17 for the former Red Sox shortstop". Those are tough words to hear.

Tasty, tasty words.

Do you have any idea how stupid you look when you say Lackey is garbage, a horrendous signing, and should go to Pawtucket? I mean, really, do you know how incredibly fucking stupid you look? Because you look stupid indeed.


Lone voice of reason. Of course he is flamed later. Who needs reason when you have baseless outrage and delusions?

God hates this team.

No,I hate this team. God doesn't care.


Oops, I hit a double...and got 2 RBIs.

My favourite moment of the game was Fred Lewis' little oopsie swing RBI double, followed by Tito "ejecting" the HP ump.

To be fair, that double was whole load of turf-helped bullshit.

I love it when Sox fans complain about other stadiums, when their home is Fenway...the quirkiest, most bullshit field around. Where the home team has the advantage, if only because they have the time to work the quirks to their advantage.


I kind of agree with Gaston here - I don't understand how they can call that a HBP.

Kind of? The homeplate ump didn't make the call, but Youk took his gear off. They appeal and the plate ump lets the 2nd base ump overrule him!?!?!?!?! I would like the hear how that conversation went. Home Plate Ump "I didn't see it. I didn't even notice anything until Youkilis took his gear off. He seems really outraged. Did you see? " 2b ump: "I didn't see it, but the outrage seems real. I say give it to him."

Looked to me like it hit him in the stomach. The ball appeared to change directions slightly.

You know pitchers, if they are doing their jobs, make the ball change directions slightly. That is the purpose of pitching. That's why they don't just throw over the top fastballs. Plus, Youk was crying about his leg. PLUS-the asshole stands on the plate and waggles his ass, it's a miracle he isn't plunked every single at bat.

Cito is great at arguing without getting tossed.

It was smooth.

He always remembers to say please and thank you after telling the ump to go fuck himself.

Silky smooth.

This year Lind is hitting around .100 vs lefties.

There is nothing wrong with this statement. It's true. I just like it in contrast with what Lind did right after.

Lind disagrees, learned how to hit lefties. Good move, Tito.

Yeah, the HR. I didn't even realize the deliciousness of it until I read that.

It's pretty rare to see Tito get this pissed off, but I don't blame him. Gaston bitches at the umps for 15 minutes straight and didn't get tossed.

This was interesting. It might not have been the style (although I loved Tito counter-ejecting the ump) that lead to the tossing, but rather the content. The HBP was clearly bullshit, and Cito said his piece. Extensively. Seeing Cito tower over the ump while arguing was amusing. But arguing balls and strikes, which is what Tito was doing, is right up there with physical contact with the ump. Argue balls and strikes, you get tossed.

I really don't think Frasor meant to hit Hall.

What tipped you off? The fact that it was a changeup? Or that Frasor was ahead in the count and putting Hall on served no advantageous purpose?

Cameron K'd looking and went to the dugout yapping about it- got tossed. Tito came out and got tossed pretty quick- and like another poster mentioned- Cito Gaston spent about ten minutes arguing an inning back.

Sigh. See above.

That strike two call was sanction-worthy bad. Seriously.




Well, at least you are serious when you are wrong.

Well that was a nice long winning streak.

Heh.

Just saw the Francona ejection "Who gives a fuck?"

Yeah, Tito quoted Alex Rios.

Like Many Balls Last Night, GONE

Now my body is on vacation, too. One parting thought, I don't think Jesse is ready for prime time.

"Home" Sucks

Watching the display yesterday in Toronto, I understood why and even appreciated that they moved the series. The summit should never have been held in Toronto in the first place, but they never asked my opinion.

I'm not 100% behind moving it to Philly, but what's done is done and The Jays will appreciate the gate. I heard that they brought the Jays videos to play on the screens in Citizen's Bank, which is a nice touch. Maybe they should do this kind of thing more often, letting fans get to know other teams, broaden their horizons.

Shaun Marcum, Stud Chucker, did exactly what was needed yesterday after a pounding and an owning.

And then Brett Cecil lost to a man who was pitching his rookie season the year Cecil was born. The errors were ugly. Jamie Moyer is just the type of junk balling lefty that would put the Jays hitters into fits of uselessness. What a bullshit game.

Where the hell are Parkes and Stoeten? Locked in the Tao's basement.

"Home" Sweet "Home"

Hearing huge cheers during a 9-0 pounding in a Jays home game is not that unusual. It's really no different than many Yankees series. But the white unis combined with the real grass and the sea of red in the crowd was a little disconcerting. Doc was his normal, filthy self. Some Phillies fans were like "What did Jays fans expect? He's Roy Halladay!!" Shut up, we know who he is. And also shove your "U-S-A!!" chants. Litsch was a little squeezed, but in general wasn't efficient enough to be pink, round and efficient.


Also something different, while watching the game last night, I would actually think to myself "Ok, ump, that's not a strike. That's inside." on some of Doc's on the edge pitches. Someone I obviously never did before.

Welcome "Home"

While reading Griffin's Mrs. Doc interview, something happened. Instead of collecting canned goods, the lady collected my damn heart.

How? By saying stuff like this...

"We didn't want to go. It's not that we were so fed up in Toronto we just had to get out of there. But we just wanted a chance to win and they told us they weren't going to be able to provide us that chance. It's a rock and a hard place. Do you love where you are? Absolutely. But sometimes the time comes that you have to move forward. "

'For us, we had to make the smartest decision for us. We didn't just want to go to a team, uproot our family and have to start over again. We wanted to make a decision that was going to benefit us in the long run. It was a smart decision for everybody. We weren't going to screw the Jays over, make them get nothing just to let us go. We weren't going to fight, pitch a fit, cross our arms and refuse to cooperate. I'd like to think that they thought the same way. '

'I'm going to cry. I don't even have a Kleenex. Do, I have some in my purse. I'm still so shocked that people might think we just moved on and forgot about them. That kills me. It kills me. Okay, so five. First of all my son was born there. How do you forget something like that. My son was born there. Toronto has been as much or more of a home to me than any place I've ever lived. I've never lived in any place as long as I've lived in Toronto, ever, my entire life. So, that's huge for me. Just knowing how to get off the plane and come home. It was a home. We have a home there. I love the Food Drive. I don't know why. I love that Food Drive so much. I love it because I think it's so simple to take something from someone that wants to give and give it to someone that needs it. It's the easiest thing in the world to do and I loved that we've always had this platform to do it. Somebody wants to bring me stuff so that I can give it to someone else. It's amazing. '

Few things I noticed while reading this interview. One is that Brandy always says she never cries, and then does. She cried when Sarah Richardson re-designed Doc's Box for her show. I think Brandy was pregnant, and the room was really great looking, so tears were understandable. She cried talking to Jamie Campbell last year (but I would probably cry, too) And she cries again here. It's incredibly endearing.

Two is that JP must be some kind of smooth operator. Brandy more or less says that JP said he'd keep trade talks quiet and generally keep Halladay away from the press hounds so he could concentrate on pitching. And then magically the story breaks, and their life becomes difficult and incredibly stressful. But she never blames JP, even though it was at least partly his fault. She must be an optimist or just really forgiving. Either way, endearing.

I also really like how she refers to Doc's career as something she is actively a part of. 'I felt like we had made sacrifices to stay...we've always kept our promises to the team. Yes we'll take less this year so you can go out and get somebody else. Or we'll hold back this much or we'll do this or that. We'll sign for the rebuild – again." I once read about Brandy's active participation in Doc's rebirth as a pitcher. She helped him get help for the mental stuff, she was his cheerleader and she bought Roy The Mental ABC's of Pitching, also known as Roy's Bible. It's a "We" type operation.

Oh, the game. Brandon Morrow was a total stud last night. Much like Romero the night before. The difference was that Adam Wainwright was not the stud Chris Carpenter was. Offense is so fun.

Extra Chances

That game was all kinds of fun. A complete textbook Bautista to Hill to Molina throw to get Aubrey Huff at the plate. The relay play, when done correctly, is one of the prettiest plays in the whole game and for whatever reason makes me think of playoff baseball. The star of the game was Encarnacion who not only provided all the offense but a very nifty defensive play to end the game.

Remember Jason Phillips? Back up catcher with glasses? John Gibbons really liked him? Well, he's not on a big league roster anymore but he did get a job as a bullpen catcher for the Mariners. He also got himself a wife. He is doing his job in the 'pen. A girl in the stands catches his eye. He writes his number on a ball and tosses it up to her, telling her to text him later. The game goes 15 innings. Phillips goes back to the clubhouse, checks his phone. She's texted him back. So what happened?

Well, they got married last week. In the bullpen.

Which to some would be sweet and to others saccharine.

What is universally sweet, however, is the return of Pink. Round. Efficient. 3 hits. No walks. 7 1/3 innings. No runs. All you need to know about that. Except Aaron Hill, refusing to hit yet another popup, instead hit it long and deep.

Matt Cain, starting pitcher for the Giants, said this, "These guys can beat you with the long ball. You can't give these guys extra chances. I did, and it cost us." It's nice he reminded us, cause after that road trip, this team seemed less than likely to strike fear in any pitcher.

Manny Ramirez came back to Fenway, to be cheerbooed on Friday night. I watched him strike out looking (he was totally fooled) and it was a bit brutal. But today Manny hit a homer, according to his nature. Dodgers still lost. We won 2 of 3 from the Padres, and you guys do this? Thanks for nothing.

One of my favourite Manny as Dodger stories was about Joe Torre and Manny's hair. Torre calls Manny into his office. Manny sits down and says, "This is about my hair, isn't it?" And Torre says, "It's a lot, you gotta tone it down a bit." Manny argues, "But it's my strength!!" and Torre replies, "Manny, if I believed that, I would've had people break into your room and shave you bald when you were a Sock, you burned us so many times."

Just a Little Earth-Shaking

I skipped posting on the Colorado series. Litsch was pink, round and not ready for prime time. Do you have an out pitch, boy? I'm going to pretend that it didn't happen. By the way, they got swept in Coors Field before and they had Roy Halladay then.

But then last night, the Jays played like May's Jays and all seemed right in the world. John Buck hit, Aaron Hill hit, Shaun Marcum pitched. The only thing that was different was that there was an earthquake. John Buck didn't feel it. Scott Downs didn't feel it. Shaun Marcum, in the cluhouse, said that he thought it was Downs sitting down. I think that is some sort of comment on Scott Downs' big ass, but I'm not sure.

Buck Martinez and Rance Mulliniks, both of California, knew right away what it was. Ricky Romero, straight outta Compton (well, not really. But no one wrote a song called Straight Outta East LA)and the veteran of many a quake, thought the reaction of some was amusing, "This was just a little earth-shaking. It’s not even that bad."

One Run Felt Like an Accomplishment

The last two games have been like that Carl Crawford grand slam off Scott Downs in the Rogers Centre last week. But repeated over and over. And over.

And that's all I want to say about them.

Today Was a Not so Good Day

Except for Brandon Morrow. He was totally awesome. He was dominant, he walked one and that was late in the game. The ball exploded out of his hand and there was a lot of late movement. Chuck in the hum. He hum and chucked. Romero hum and chucked. And Cecil sure as hell hum and chucked. I'm not sure what is going on in the bullpen, but it sure as hell is concerning.

I don't hate Cito Gaston the way some do. He makes questionable moves, and I sort of just go with it. But this pushed me over the edge.

Tired Brandon Morrow out to start the 8th. Why? I dunno. There is plunking, there is some Scott Downs, there is some Jeter inside out, there is some cursing.

Walking Mark Texeira, who has looked completely lost all series (dude had 5 strikeouts yesterday. 5.) to face ARod. He is 5 for 5 with 3 grand slams. Fine, set up the DP...fine. Wild pitch ties up the game anyway. But then Frasor strikes out ARod. Miracle!! Except Cano is up. Cano of the red hot .370 average. First base is open due to the wild pitch. Put him on! He has a hot bat and he will fuck you up with it. Face fractured foot, just off the DL Posada is up next. Let's take the bat out of the hands of Cano and pitch to Jorge.

No? How about pitching to Cano and letting him score two runs with a double? Including the IBB'd Teixera? Yeah? Ok, let's do it.

Well, it is some consolation that these boys took 2 of 3, And hung tight with Tampa (for the most part.) Plus, Baltimore let us sweep and then beat the Sox today.

Today was Good

“When you get out in those games and you go back to catching it makes all the pain go away,” Buck said. “You don’t want them to get a hit if you can’t have one.”

Another Note From SOSH

"Chest-high 91 mph fastball. Not the most enticing pitch to swing at. But hey, these are the Blue Jays, and it's VERNON WELLS, the definition of an albatross contract."

This one is just for Eyebleaf.

And then they got all confused with the no use of Mo in a tie game on the road. Their minds were blown. Blown!

Dear AJ

Hey buddy,

Welcome back. I used to cheer for you a lot, because I think you have a lot of talent and I hate to see any kind of big time talent go to waste. As tools go, you might have been as sharp as one might hope. I used to like your curve ball and hoped to see a changeup. You have a nice loose delivery, and when you were on, it was sweet to watch. Besides, Roy Halladay seemed to find you charming. Your Toronto boys had a tough couple of games against Tampa and I just wanted to thank you for imploding like you did to help them out, boosting their confidence.

And your comedy act with Vernon Wells after his spinning, swinging bunt was fun, too. Not as fun as the Bautista homerun afterward, but still pretty funny. It reminded me of the days of pies and chilli races.

Notes from SOSH

'Who is the good team the Yankees will face in Toronto? Surely you can't mean the Jays.'
Check the standings, the homeruns and the starting pitching. Kiss my ass, 'you can't mean the Jays.' They then proceed to call Tampa, Yankees and Boston "very good" and Toronto just "good". Some of the first part is true. Can you guess which?

And then one called Bautista, the one with the most home runs in baseball, "Juan". And they claim Canadian fans know nothing about baseball. Quality, quality fans in New England.

Mike'd Down

My take on Wilnergate- Wilner has been kind to me when I've talked to him and a big supporter of this blog. That being said, he does have a tendency to take on a wise know it all dad tone with his callers, so I get that some people don't like it and why people might think he's been asking for it. But, honestly, he is much more patient than I would probably be in his position. If you don't like how he runs his show, don't listen. I often don't, but that's both Wilner and I exercising our choices.

In any case, how he treats his readers or his callers has nothing to do with this particular situation. There were tough loses this week in an important series. Cito should be asked tough questions. Think of the Yankees. Hate them all you want, but I believe the Yankees to be the tightest run ship in all of baseball. If the Yankees had led in 25 of 27 innings in an important series and some questionable bullpen moves had been made, Joe Girardi would have to answer some tough questions. Of elite ball clubs, things are demanded of them. Wilner might have been heavy handed in his dealings with Gaston and perhaps foolishly vented about it on his blog. But I was under the impression that that was what a blog was for. More immediate, more impassioned than just reporting.

George W. Bush used to limit press conferences and tough questions in his press scrums. To the point that the press, paranoid about access to the President, would stick to softball questions and ass kissing when serious shit was demanding to be questioned. Jon Stewart used to have a field day with this.

Now I'm not comparing weapons of mass destruction to blowing 9th inning leads, but there is something to this. Cito was pissed and he doesn't like being questioned and sees it as a form of disrespect. He has always come off as a very proud man. Cito might have complained and the Fan 590, worried about access to the guy, especially if down the line this team becomes something even more interesting to cover, so they nip this in the bud and slap Wilner's wrist the placate Gaston. I think suspension in this case is bullshit.

Icarus

Did we fly too close to the sun with our wax wings? Why the hell can they not get three outs in the late innings? Clarence says, "Someday. Somewhere." I didn't see the last two games as I was out of town, but it seems I missed some things. Gregg freaking out at the ump over balls and strikes (were they strikes?), Pena getting called out on strikes looking after asking for time out, a Carl Crawford grand slam off Scott Downs, effectively making a rather close game a shit storm.

Noose tying fact of the day: The Jays had the lead in 25 of the 27 innings against Tampa. Yet lost the series 2-1. Maybe to look on the bright side, it is somewhat impressive that it was that dominant. But yes, soul crushing. Perhaps not as soul crushing as losing a perfect game with a blown call at first, but yeah, crushing.

To Me, You've Always Been Perfect

Brett Cecil, who I now call 'Cec' (pronounced like cease in cease and desist) pitched himself a dandy of a game to get his 5th win of the season. Quite a lot of chuck in your hum today, Cec.

Lyle Overbay demonstrated why we haven't added feathers to the tar. And Vernon Wells prompted one of the most amusing emotional flip flops I have seen in a while. Game tied, Cito comes over and gives the customary day is done handshake. Cec gets a little pissy, and throws his chew to the ground disgustedly. Vernon Wells takes a hanging breaking ball and introduces it to the Level of Excellence. Cec, now all smiles, while Bruce Walton comes over to make fun of his petulant ass.

There is a certain level of hilarity in baseball. That was illustrated in a LA vs Seattle game. Kendry Morales hits a beautiful walk off grand slam. And then gets injured in the celebratory pile up. ETA- Apparently, Morales broke his leg. Handshakes now, boys. Or just spank each other.

There is a certain level of extreme danger in baseball. That was illustrated in New York when Alex Rodriguez drilled a line drive off of the Indians' David Huff. It was ugly and it was scary. Show Pony trotted over, very concerned. Huff never lost consciousness, was taken to the hospital and has a golf ball shaped souvenir on his temple.

What else happened? Let me think. Oh, just this....

ROY HALLADAY PITCHED A PERFECT GAME. It was beautiful, and so well deserved. But it is really just a reminder that we had the best pitcher in baseball on our side. He pitched many games just as beautiful. I watched him 1 hit the Yankees in person.last September. Halladay has been perfect for most of the past decade. Only now everybody knows it. Best pitcher in baseball. Signed, sealed, delivered.

When DJF Links to You

It's time to update.

The Sox are surging and are now getting all with the lip. There is a dude on the ESPN message board telling Tampa to enjoy their time at the top now, because the Red Sox are coming. It's so cute, like they are going to take the Yankees, let alone Tampa. Tampa is younger and faster, and a hell of a lot better looking. And I loved Carl Crawford yelling at the ump for that very obvious bullshit strike call. It was a bit down but very away. "He was just like, 'That's a good pitch.' I'm thinking to myself, if the plate is in the other batter's box, then it's a good pitch."

Hey family and friends of Ricky Romero? I know you are proud of your boy, but if you are going to come to the game, please don't come in a group of 200, wearing Jays jerseys, all sit together and stare at him. Probably don't even tell him you're coming. Cause that sort of behaviour caused little Ricky to shit the bed, in the baseball way, last night. Rushing, balls up, jitters, yips, gloved f-bombs, the works. It was not hot. As was EE's work at 3rd base.

Joey Bats (yeah, I'm calling him that) looks so damn loose at the plate. He leads the AL in home runs.

ESPN gives our boys some lovin'. Saying that all the "Jays are going to wither and die right away because Roy Halladay no longer plays for them" was wrong. I'm not sure we are saying "Roy who?", cause hitting six homers and still losing is not much fun, but there is a lot of quality left here.

April, May and Me

Vernon is flexing his muscle at the endlessly amusing Orlando Hudson. Welcome back, Doggie.

That was an excellent counter-pounding, boys. The Twins and their big bats hurt little Dana Eveland, and the Jays turn around and violate Carl Pavano right back. E5, Vernon, Lyle, Aaron- homeruns for all!!!!

I was especially happy to see Lyle Overbay rebound after the brutal night at the office on Monday night. And Shaun Marcum is a 89 mph fastball throwing stud. Yeah, I said it. For those keeping score:

Marcum-Chucker, close to Master Chucker. Stud Chucker.
Romero-Hummer, bordering on Hum and Chucker on good days. His Chuck is a bit wild. Manage your Chuck.
Morrow-Hummer...sigh, hummer. But maybe some Chuck in his future.
Eveland- not enough of either, but I'm hoping for him.
Cecil- Hummer, glimpses of Chuck. Let's have more Chuck. The glasses help, for some reason. Add some Chuck to your changeup.

Feel free to print this off, Bruce Walton.

When the Red Sox suffer, things get damn amusing. On Monday, the Red Sox lit up Yankees starter Phil Hughes but Jonathon "why are you making a cat-ass with your mouth?" Papelbon surrendered the lead and the win. And lo, it got amusing.

I haven't visited SOSH very much this season because our boys insist of losing to them. But apparently, the Jays are the only team the Sox can beat. Let's gauge the suicide watch.

Even the thread titles are great "When is Lowell going to request his release?", "Why do our fielders keep running into each other?" and "April hates Beckett, and so does May." April, May and me.

"It's almost 1am and I am still trying to shake this one off. We get the hitting back, and the closer falls apart. Why can't we catch a break?"

Yes, sucking and yet hovering at .500 is a burden.

"I just want to thank the boys for sucking craptastically at the beginning of the season so that I don't have to waste the whole summer watching the games and trying to recover from gutpunch after gutpunch. Great run prevention guys."

Run a warm bath....

"Paps was a little cranky during his post game interview. Maybe he was on the rag and the cramps affected his location."

Get some fresh towels....

"On really good teams, a different person steps up every game to help the team win. On this year's Sox team, a different person fucks them over every game. "

Sharpen the razorblades...

And then the thread devolved into their "girlfriends" and imaginary oral sex while she wears Jeter's jersey, and I had to get the hell away from that. Not the type of visual I need.

The never melodramatic Dan Shaughnessy, in an article titled "Another Round of Torture in the Bronx" writes, "Underachieving. The opposite of clutch. Hard to watch. Not worthy of the love of the legions back home."

Nah, I'd say this version of the Sox are exactly what the legions deserve.

We Messed with Texas

Ricky Romero did the best thing one can do after a struggling start. He completely owned. After the clusterfuck that was Friday night pitching, Romero pitched his first complete game shut out. I hope he becomes a star, not just because it's good for the team, but because I can take credit for it because I gave him that stellar pep talk last summer. The one he laughed at.

Romero succeeding often brings up JP's drafting of him over Tulowitski.

The reason it was so frustrating, let's use that word, for some in the Tulo/Ricky draft was that short stop had been a gaping hole in the organization for a long time. JP had drafted Russ Adams (with Jon Lester on the table), and left Tulowitski on the table a few drafts later. Tulo was ready for primetime before Ricky, and was a big league short stop when the position here was still up in the air. I'm not saying it as a bad idea or that it was a mistake, but just a speculation on a different path. A woulda, shoulda, coulda.

Following Romero's lead, Brandon Morrow and his big time arm found enough stability to pitch effectively for 6+ innings. And winning when the pitching gives up more hits than their opponent means the golden horse shoe is well implanted.

A Pitch for Every Fan

Wow, kids, that was some baaaaaaaad pitching on Friday night. Other than Casey Janssen (and Jason Frasor.) As much fun as watching Travis Snider fight off eleven pitches only to get a tasty one for the seats and watching Vernon Wells smooshing salt in Texas reliever Doug Mathis' open, oozing wound, it was Janssen who was the star. He inherited the bases loaded and pitched 3 innings of shut out, 1 hit baseball. In a game where command was a dirty word, Casey shut down a potent Rangers' offense. Hitting when the pitching is that bad is easy. Anything unhittable was a ball, any strike was tatooable. Command amidst clusterfuck isn't.

An Ode to Cat

The Mets have DFA'd Frank Catalanotto and it's likely he'll retire. I hope he finds work as a hitting coach someplace, cause dude knew his way with a bat. Named "Player of the Week" twice by MLB in 2005, Cat played 466 games as a Jay and batted nearly .300. That there is a professional hitter. Sportsnet news announcers sang a little song for him. It went like this: "Frank Ca-ta-la-not-toe. Home-run."

I'll always remember him for those games where the Jays would roll into Fenway in September and put Massholes into fits. More than once during those series, SOSH referred to him as Frank Fucking Catalanotto. Warmed my heart.

ETA Dude in the middle is Tom Verducci. He spent a chunk of spring training with the Jays and played the outfield. This is the article.

I' m in a Detroit State of Mind

Well, this is just shitty planning. I understand the G20's need for a secure venue. I'm really disappointed that we can't welcome Doc back to his ancestral home and heap respect and love on him, and assure him there are no hard feelings. We know he is the best. Offering vouchers to fans who have already bought tickets is really rude. Telling them "Fans, we want to do something to piss you off, but we don't want to take our lumps financially."

But this is the biggest kick in the teeth. Moving the series to Philadelphia, eliminating 3 Jays home games and giving the Phillies 3 extra. Home field advantage in sports tends to come in intangibles, but in baseball it is an advantage that is based in the official rules. Not to mention that the NL team faces an advantage at home that an AL team in it's home park doesn't get. Asking a pitcher to hit and more or less wasting the number 9 spot is a bigger disadvantage than inserting a DH. And remember when Scott Downs twisted his ankle coming out of the batter's box during an interleague game? The offensive innings for a pitcher should be a time to drink Gatorade, get a new piece of the chew/gum concoction and stew over the hanging change that left the yard.

But while the no-Doc homecoming and 3 fewer home games is irritating, but moving the game to Philly rather than a neutral stadium is disrespectful to Jays fans. The MLB would never move a Yankees home series to Fenway. They would never move a Cardinals home series to Wrigley. Not that the Philly/Toronto rivalry is that intense. Yes, Toronto hit a homerun 17 years ago that crushed Philly dreams and yes, our golden boy left Toronto for Philly, but it's not exactly heated.

Holding the series in Detroit would be awesome. It's a brand new park, it's not too far from either Toronto or Philly and the Tigers will be out of town.

Mets fans and Braves fans should join with Jays fans and bitch about this. I am just waiting for Bud Selig to release a statement about how this is good for baseball.

Sorry LL, I'm Calling it a Comeback

Ever have one of those times, when someone totally disses you and you have nothing to say back, only to think of the most amazing, devastating comeback, hours later and totally alone.

This happened for Dallas Braden. Except people were watching. Perhaps we all recall the hubbub about ARod running across the pitcher's mound while the A's Dallas Braden was warming up. Braden yelled at him, ARod was all "And you are?"

There is a new book about the unwritten rules (here is the book's site) that I am looking forward to reading. The author, via his website, has discussed the incident in depth. To some, it was not a known rule. I think ARod is in the wrong. Generally, because you don't usually see guys do it and so many talk about the right way to play the game, about respect and honour. It just seems a little bitchy to run across a pitcher's mound.

I'm also suspect because this is ARod . Yankee. Weirdo. Dandy. But more specifically, because this is ARod. The ARod who girlishly slapped Bronson Arroyo's arm to avoid being tagged in a playoff game. The ARod who yelled "Mine!" at Howie Clark, career minor leaguer, making Clark think John McDonald was calling him off. The ARod who pulls this shit despite being one of the best players ever. The ARod who said this, "He just told me to get off his mound. I was a little surprised. I'd never quite heard that. Especially from a guy that has a handful of wins in his career ... I thought it was pretty funny actually." Yeah, this guy is all class. Braden said ARod was too busy "tasting himself" to realize anything. Which I think is pretty funny. But the comeback to end all comebacks came today.

Dallas Mother Fuckin' Braden pitched a perfect game. Boy might have a handful of wins, Show Pony, but he was perfect against Tampa, one of the nastiest beasts of the AL East.


Braden lost his mother to cancer when he was a teenager, so for this to happen on Mother's Day added a dash of poetry. His grandmother, who raised him, was in the stands, and said, I quote "Stick it, ARod." Dude was 24th round pick. The best Hollywood hack couldn't have written this shit.

And for a comeback of a different kind, how about the Toronto Blue Jays? I was bored this afternoon, watching Alex Rios decide to use his considerable skills for once and violate his former team. With a pink bat. Ricky Romero was once again all over the place, Molina 2.o wasn't blocking very well. Vernon Wells showed up to play, but it just felt like we had to accept a split series. Fred Lewis, sensing both my boredom and Drew at Ghostrunner's love, smacked a massive 3-run homerun off struggling White Sox closer Bobby Jenks. I think Matt Thornton, who threw nothing but filth at the Jays, while they trembled in his presence, might soon be the new closer.

It was sweet.

The Beautiful

Both starting pitchers, Eveland and Danks, pitched extremely efficient games. Alex Rios has been so hot lately, Ozzie has him hitting clean up. Despite his obliviousness, I always hate to see potential unfulfilled. So seeing Rios succeed is a good thing in my books, just so long as he doesn't break up no-hitters for Jays pitchers.

They were picked off a lot, but I like seeing the Jays trying to steal bases.

The Damned

Gordon "Bend it Like" Beckham had an absolutely brutal night, making two errors and striking out 3 times. The White Sox look a little lost in general, making me wonder if Ozzie is holding on to his job by a thin thread. Ozzie in post-Clarence era Toronto? It might be disastrous, but excellent for blogging purposes.



Bud Selig bugs me quite a lot, but he could make up for a lot if he moves the 2011 All-Star game out of Arizona. American life has been shaped, shaded and developed by its immigrants. Few things demonstrate the varied and colorful Latino influence on the American experience than it's influence on baseball. Think of all the great pitchers , great hitters, great plays and great personalities, even just in the past 15 years, and then imagine how much duller, less amazing, less fun it would have been without those people who come from south of the States. This is a great opportunity to stand up for these people and thank them for what they have given to this game that we love. Also stick it to the fascist and racist pieces of shit who populate Arizona.

Wild, Wild Midwest

Watching last night's long, drawn out contest made me relieved that we weren't playing Tampa or the Yankees, cause shit could've gotten ugly.

The Beautiful

Travis Snider, with 3 hits, is starting to look more and more like a big league hitter. I hope Cito and his hitting friends are getting through to him. Jose "Joey Bats" Bautista contributed a homerun.

18 quality starts from the Doc-less pitching staff, but I believe that 'quality start' is a bit objective for something as subjective as pitching. But more on that in a tick.

The pitchers call Bruce Walton "Papi", even though he is not their Latino father nor a very large Dominican DH. And none of them (as far as I know) are hot Latina girls featured in hip hop/reggaeton videos, gyrating and yelling "ay Papi!"

The Damned

Ricky!!! Romero was more than a little wild last night. He had 5 strikeouts through 2 innings, and then lost the strike zone, and bounced some pitches, crossed up John Buck and made a throwing error on a snap throw to first. He got a little agitated. It was downright vintage AJ Burnett. Maybe, like Burnett, Molina 2.0 should be Romero's catcher. But I think Buck's presence had more to do with his hot bat than anything else.

Um, press? Can we please stop with the "Doc was so scary" story line? It's a shame the Baby Jays were too scared to approach him about pitching stuff. Don't do it on Doc start days, but he seemed pretty chill on days he wasn't working. And if he and flake master AJ Burnett, who more or less put the moves on him and lived to tell the tale, can become buddies, all of you kids could've approached him, too. Now all I can see are "lonely genius" storylines for Halladay. But he's gone to a better place, where dudes are tasered if they get out of line.

Scary Good

The Jays look scary good. Hitting, pitching, defense. Scary. Good.

The Beautiful

Brett Cecil, and his rather unneighbourly changeup, became the latest Jays pitcher to dance with history. He took a perfect game( which became a no hitter which morphed into a run) into the 7th inning. The ball danced out of his hand.

Buck and Bautista hit homeruns, but Travis Snider rocket launched a ball which took 3 seconds to leave the yard. And that isn't an exaggeration. Tabler timed it. That's country strong. Apparently that's the kind of homerun Cito wants Snider to hit. No shit, Clarence.

The Damned

I wonder if Cleveland ever feels like the baseball equivalent of puberty. They were one win away from the World Series a few years ago and watched a good portion of their former starting rotation face each other in the World Series. Sizemore and Choo are good fun, but the Indians seemed damned (and ignored) last night because LeBron doesn't play for them.

A-Ok Offence

Well, it's nice to know these boys can hit. More extra base hits than singles, which must be some kind of freakish stat. John MacDonald with a double and a triple, Fred Lewis and Aaron Hill going back to back. An "oh my god, finally" Shaun Marcum win, for a guy who hasn't had a win since 2008 and could easily be 4-0 (or somewhere close to that.) this season.

I was sad and glad over the amount of Roy Halladay love that was poured on during Sunday Night Baseball. I just wish it seemed less like Toronto was puberty, something icky (inconvenient boners and acne) to go through before coming into your own and being great. Well, actually being acknowledged for coming into your own and being great.

But I must say I am very excited/impressed by this team so far. If all we can expect is growth and development, I say the first month of the season has given us that in spades. The Jays got a shout out for not folding without Doc. For whatever reason, the lows of this team seem less low. They were swept by the Sox last weekend, but barely beaten. Two one run loses and then (for variety) a 2-run loss. In the wake of the weekend sweeping by the Orioles, Boston is scrambling around. I like to call it the Curse of Manny.

There is really something to be said for low expectations.

The Stud Gospels

Because the 2010 season has been tauted as a rebuilding season (btw, press, this whole 'It was hard to learn and prove yourself when Doc was here' is horseshit. Stop it. He was an excellent example. Doing 1/2 of what he did would be enough for many pitchers to be successful.) it is important to look for other things to kvetch about than the wins and losses.

Jon Lester is a stud. He is huge, he's a lefty, his curve is sick, his change is what some fastballs are, and he is anti-cancer. To hear that he was passed over in favour of drafting Russ Adams and Dave Bush by a certain former GM is a bit disturbing. I don't totally hold it against that guy because it is often difficult to see what the future will bring. But I have learned in the past from people in the know that the lefty with a pulse is perhaps the most valuable commodity in baseball. They will always be tradeable because teams always want them, and they will always find work because teams always want them. Looking towards the future (cause that's how we roll in 2010), I just hope AA makes wiser decisions. Cause I had some envy last night, after watching Lester tie our boys up in knots.

The Drunks have issues with the roof. I don't really give a shit, since I watch most of my games at home, but from what I understand is that the roof doesn't open all the time because if they did and it got effin' cold, it might get stuck open (kind of like how when you wash your car in the winter and the doors freeze shut.) So sitting in the cold is not really what concerns the Rog Mahal, it's having the roof get messed up. But like I said, I don't really care.

Notes

I've been insanely busy with real life that I haven't been able to write anything witty or interesting. Usually during Red Sox series, I let SOSH write the posts for me but since the Jays insist on losing to them (boys? 1 run loses are so 2009. Knock it off.) SOSH is not as fun.

But I do take pleasure in the fact that Boston is just barely beating them and generally looking bad. Looking average to bad against a team that many predicted would finish 5th in the AL East doesn't look so good for the Massholes and October baseball. Let's all take some satisfaction in that.

But about those pre-season predictions, the Orioles have looked like ass. I know it's been a month, but a lot of ass. I don't have lofty hope for our boys, but I think 4th can be ours.

Let's Gather Round and Love Lyle

Lyle Overbay was mired in some kind of funk. Like striking out and .080 kind of funk. And the 12 Torontonians at the game on Sunday, unable to boo a restored Vernon Wells, sought a new target for booing. Mercilessly. Pitch for pitch. Fastball boo. Changeup boo. Curve boo. Slider boo and probably some sort of slurve boo, too.

But for the fan BBQ, a handful of the boys wore Overbay's shirts to support their boy who was sucking. It warmed the cockles and Lyle looked a little like he was coming around last night. Maybe he just wanted his clothes back.