Best of Both Worlds: Donaldson Becomes a Viking



A photo posted by Josh Donaldson (@tos_bor20) on


I was feeling a little low last week and some news came down that cheered me. Josh Donaldson, fire of our baseball loins, had an explanation for his hair adventures of the last few months.

I sort of called it, or rather I got the reference.


A photo posted by JoannaC (@humandchuck) on


I didn't know Donaldson was actually going to be in the show. Here he is talking about it to the San Francisco Chronicle.

So what's the deal with Vikings?



Ragnar Lothbrook is a farmer/warrior with ambition. He wants to sail west to England, raid and also establish Viking farms on the much more fertile English countryside. He raids, comes into conflict various leaders, which, so far, he has conquered. He was a farmer, then an earl and now a king. He has a beautiful wife named Lagertha, and has a son Bjorn and a daughter Gyda.

At the end of the first season, convinced Lagertha can’t have more children (the blind seer with black tar on his lips told him), he sleeps with Aslaug, a princess in another village supposedly descended from the gods. She shows up pregnant in the beginning of the second season, and despite his hilarious attempts to convince Lagertha that a sister-wife situation is totally something that would work, Lagertha leaves him. Little Bjorn decides to follow her. Ragnar has a bunch of little boys with Aslaug, but they have recently grown apart after their son, Ivar the Boneless, was born crippled. Lagertha is probably the love of his life, but Aslaug will do. Travis Fimmel plays him as someone who is endlessly curious and a bit eccentric. A savage fighter, Ragnar does not like it when people cross him (look up the term “blood eagle”, and understand it's what happened to one of Ragnar's enemies.) But, he is also a man who finds joy in his life. He loves his children. He has been known to carry around a baby goat for no particular reason and gets a twinkle in his eye when he's thinking of something.

Ragnar, with his blue eyed charm, is the one Josh Donaldson looks most like. Scenes like this are why I suspect our boy likes him.



Josh should consider this attitude whenever he rolls into Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park. Relish in the fear you inspire in your opponents.





Lagertha is the first wife of Ragnar and is perhaps the most badass woman on television. She’s played by Canadian actress Katheryn Winnick, who has black belts in various martial arts and has her own fight training schools. She puts those skills to good use as Lagertha is a warrior who goes raiding, as well as a wife and mother, and is later a well respected earl in her own right. She is ferocious.

In the first episode of the series, she is weaving with her daughter when some dudes show up wanting to rape her. She sends little Gyda out to feed the goats and proceeds to kick their asses.

Her costumes and hair are something I keep trying to figure out how to incorporate into my look. This is how she broke up with her abusive second husband. 

She took over his earldom and all his men. This is the speech she gives Ecbert, a king in England and one of Ragnar's rivals, when she decides their relationship isn’t going to work out:

I have enjoyed your company and the sex...Even so, although you have made me happy and fulfilled, I have come to understand that the only person you truly care for is yourself.

She's the best.

Witty, kick ass and doesn't take shit from anyone. Josh Donaldson should be more like Lagertha. We should all be more like Lagertha.





Floki is a sort of spiritual visionary dude who is friends with Ragnar, who is played by Gustaf Skarsgård (son of Stellan Skarsgård- who currently stars in River on Netflix, which is also completely worth your time- and younger brother to Alexander, the totally hot viking vampire from True Blood.) Floki is the designer of the boats they sail west in. He hates Christians and he and Ragnar get into arguments about Ragnar’s interest in Christianity. Floki’s signature fight move was when he kissed a guy on the forehead and then head butted him. The amazing thing about Skarsgård's performance is that his physicality is spindly and small, but he is 6’4”. Skarsgårds come giant.






Athelstan is a monk Ragnar stole in an early episode. Ragnar goes on an unauthorized raid and brings home gold and jewels from the monastery, as well as a few monks. Athelstan is the only monk who survived the trip. The earl (played by Gabriel Byrne) punishes Ragnar for raiding without permission by taking all the treasure, but allows him to keep one thing of his choice. Ragnar keeps Athelstan. 

Athelstan is sort of treated like a pet by Ragnar’s children at first. Ragnar and Lagertha also invite him to join them in a threeway to welcome him, which is tempting because they are both blisteringly hot. Athelstan, thinking that the devil is tempting him and God is testing him, decides to pray and read his bible. He eventually becomes a well respected confidant to both Ragnar and Lagertha respectively, but is pretty consistently hated by Floki, who sees him as an enemy of Odin. Athelstan becomes a Viking over time, but at one point goes back to England as a priest and a liaison between Ragnar and Ecbert, a king in England (played by Linus Roache.)




Rollo is Ragnar’s brother. He’s jealous of Ragnar, tries and often fails to beat him at various things. He’s betrayed Ragnar, becomes town recluse but is forgiven. He's kind of an asshole. He was also in love with Lagertha for years. Ragnar had him baptized at one point to gain the trust of the English but I don’t think it took. 

He also once got high on mushrooms and killed some English guys they had hostage, which was pretty insane. Historical Rollo went to Paris and did alright. His descendant is William the Conqueror. So things may be looking up for Rollo.

He also gives really good fighting advice.

 



"Always remember to finish off your opponent if you can... No man ever ran away with his entrails hanging down to his knees or his head cut off. That's just a fact of life."
The Jays' rivals got better in the off season. The Yankees improved their already tight bullpen and the Red Sox got Price. The Jays would do well to use their potent offense to bludgeon their opponents. Beat these teams down until they can't get up again. That's just a fact of life.

"Don't die stupidly" is just good advice in general.




Bjorn is the oldest son of Ragnar and Lagertha. He had a sister named Gyda, but she dies of plague in the first season. This is Ragnar mourning his daughter in probably my favourite scene of the entire series.  

He was a little boy when the show started (in my head, the first version of Bjorn is known as Baby Bjorn) and was often far more serious than his father. Bjorn also defends his mother and lectures his dad when Ragnar does things that disrespect her. Bjorn chooses to leave with his mother after his parents break up, even though it would be a much better idea to stick with his dad and protect his birthright from the thousands of half-brothers Aslaug keeps giving birth to.

After a few years away, they reunite when Lagertha brings her new husband's men to help in a fight.




That's Big Bjorn with Josh. 


"Fellow Canadian."

This show is violent. It's mysterious and earthy. It's got breathtaking battle scenes.The acting isn’t flowery or classical, but rather blunt. They aren't nice people, really, but Ragnar is someone I root for. It's a harsh and brutal world. The production values, including the sets and costumes, are first rate, as is the creative use of music. 

It’s a beautiful example of what can happen in the television medium and I’m very proud it’s a product of Canadian TV.





It starts with this and it keeps going.